by JULIET WATERS

Here's a list of noteworthy reads from 2003 arranged according to handy categories...

BEST BOOK PRANK The Hipster Handbook by Robert Lanham. Are you one of the sad poseurs who actually introduced the word "deck" into your vocabulary before someone clued you in to the fact that it was made up? Oh well, at least you're not just finding this out now… or are you?

BEST BESTSELLER The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time by Mark Haddon. This poignant but black-humoured short novel, told from the point of view of an autistic boy growing up in a working-class British neighbourhood is an excellent thriller, a highly effective tear jerker and 99.9 per cent schmarm free.

BEST '70S COMING-OF-AGE TALE The Fortress of Solitude. Jonathan Lethem's somewhat autobiographical tale of growing up as one of the few white kids to go to public school in Brooklyn is one of the best epic social-commentary novels to come out of the U.S. in years. Critics, however, are still divided as to whether it was such a good idea to give the main characters superpowers. Honourable Mention: In the Cherry Tree, by Dan Pope, is an exceptional work of anti-nostalgia, capturing '70s family life just before it entered the age of therapy.

BEST SELF-HELP Ah yes, 2003: the year where gays started marrying and heterosexuals started admitting that monogamy sucks. At least it would seem that way from the abundance of hilarious books ripping apart the orthodoxy of love. Do You Love Me or Am I Just Paranoid?: The Serial Monogamist's Guide to Love, by Carina Chocano, may very well be the last book you ever have to buy on how to fix your relationship problems. If you're aiming for actual self-improvement, Twyla Tharp's The Creative Habit: Learn It and Use It for Life is guaranteed to turn you into an eccentric, wild-eyed artist in no time.

BEST CRAFT BOOK Knitting Pretty by Kris Percival. Earlier this year, I confessed to having become a knitting junkie after picking up this book of simple instructions for hipster knitters. Sad to report little has changed and I hope all my friends like their Xmas beer cozies.

MOST PROVOCATIVE If you're in a shaky relationship, Against Love: A Polemic, by Laura Kipnis, is something you definitely want to save for after the holiday season. Great holiday reading, however, if you're single. The two-page list of answers people gave to the question, "What are you forbidden from doing to appease your partner?" is one of the wittiest, most blood-chilling arguments against domesticity every written. Honourable mentions: Party of One: The Loners' Manifesto by Anneli Rufus is not against monogamy, but she makes a pretty strong case against the cultural assumptions that community is a necessary good. Required reading for the hibernation months ahead.

FUNNIEST BOOK Winner of the National Book Award by Jincy Willett. This hilarious first novel of two sisters seduced by a reptilian horror-book writer is first-class satire. If you want more, the cult-classic collection of short stories Willett wrote in the '80s, Jenny and the Jaws of Life, has been reissued with an introduction by David Sedaris.

BEST BOOK FOR GETTING OVER THE HOLIDAY SEASON Dry by Augusten Burroughs. Whatever your condition on January 1st, Burroughs' entertaining, supremely self-aware memoir will make you feel comparatively sane and sober.

BEST EXTREMELY UNIQUE BOOK Yoga for People Who Can't Be Bothered to Do It by Geoff Dyer. Is it a self-help book? Not unless you want help in becoming a mostly stoned, aging loner. Is it a cautionary tale? No, since Dyer's probing brilliance manages to make being a stoned, aging loner seem pretty interesting. Is it a travel book? Kinda, but whether he's in Cambodia, Rome, Detroit, Libya or Nevada, Dyer's subject is really his finely tuned inner life. Is it fiction? Technically, no, and it reads like nonfiction. So it's nonfiction, right? Uh… no, because Dyer admits to making a lot of this up. Let's just say this funny, thoughtful, intelligent and crazy book is one of the best all-purpose reads of 2003.