M To all the MP3 downloaders, you guys don't get it, do you? You feel like the VICTIMS, but you're not. Not only are the musicians the victims, but so are the record stores. And in the end the true music buyers are the victims too. There are tons of great record stores in Montreal like Beatnick, Primitive etc. that try real hard to bring you great music on CD and vinyl and unless you want every great record store in Montreal to disappear like the dinosaurs, you've got to support them. You're ruining the fun for the REAL MUSIC CONSUMERS who are actually passionate about the music. People like me who really take the time to listen to the music, who read the lyrics and who really enjoy physically holding the art that the musicians created for us all. So go on and download your favourite Bow Wow track but don't spoil my fun and make my favourite record stores go out of business! [BLEEP!]

M Hey, I was just flipping through the Mirror here and saw that a certain club is billing itself as a place for a "mature clientele, proper attire required, no hats, runners, etc." But the buddy in the ad, I won't mention who the artist is, but he's wearing all of the above! So I was kind of wondering what happens if I want to go see this dude in my jersey and my running shoes. What gives? Why market a hip hop artist to a non-jersey-wearing crowd?! [BLEEP!]

M Hi, I'm W and this is for those STRAIGHT-EDGE kids who are punching people out. To them I say, ever hear of love thy brother? Love thy neighbour? If you don't like what someone is doing, walk away, don't take it out through violence. It all comes down to getting to know that guy on the other side of the street who maybe you crossed the street to avoid. Once you get to know them, then maybe you will get to love them, and then maybe we will have a BETTER WORLD. [BLEEP]

F Why can't the city of Montreal figure out how to clean up snow? It's not a surprise. Snow comes every year, why does it always take days to clean it up? Also, why do we have public buildings with stone and marble floors? They get wet and extremely slippery and make girls fall down and rip their tights and get BLEEDING KNEES. [BLEEP!]

M To the guy who doesn't want us all to become SLAVES, with no rights and no voice. Well man, did you know that in ancient Greece the slaves got 153 vacation days a year? Ancient Greece, slaves, 153 holidays a year. It's a fun fact. [BLEEP!]

M My rant is concerning television programming on Saturday nights, at 11 p.m. on Global. Black and white, no music, no dialogue, close-up of some guy sitting down on the TOILET bowl, presumably taking a shit. I'm not all that familiar with what goes down on tel-eye-vision, let alone reality television, but, I mean, who was the fuckin' genius behind this idea?! Black-and-white close up, no music, just a few sighs here and there. I mean, along with Train 48 this has got to be the worst television I have ever seen! Global, kudos! [BLEEP!]

F Hey, this is a rant going out to Peter, the guy who approached me in the middle of the night at Villeneuve and Parc, desperate for some money. You were wearing very nice clothing and said your car had broken down and you appeared to be almost crying. I don't know if you're a good actor or what but I gave you $30 and I don't have much money. I gave you my address and you said you'd send it back and I told you that my fucking faith in humanity depended upon this money coming back. You said yes, you'd bring it back. Am I completely STUPID? Has anyone seen this man, Peter? He's an African, I'm not sure where he's from. He speaks French. Has anyone seen this man with a tear in his eye who needs some cash? Anyway, I am still waiting for my $30. I would like a sign, Peter. [BLEEP!]

F This rant goes out to the anti-ranter about the beautiful women in Montreal. I must say that I completely agree. I'm considering becoming a lesbian myself due to the simple fact that the HOT WOMEN RATIO completely outweighs the hot men in this city. I find that the guys in this city are pent-up and sexually frustrated. So yeah, some real nice butts there, ladies! Go Montreal! [BLEEP!]

F I just want to say that it's Sunday night, it's 12:30, and I read in the Rant Line™ that there was going to be this PUBLIC CIRCLE JERK on the mountain at the gazebo tonight. Well, I just got back from there - I was there for, like, one friggin' hour - just looking for somebody to keep me company while I wack off but there was nobody there! So whoever posted that rant, I want to say it wasn't very funny. I'm fucking freezin'!! [BLEEP!]

Next issue: Open forum