by MATTHEW HAYS, JOANNE LATIMER, and MARK SLUTSKY

Cold Mountain Nicole Kidman and Jude Law star as smitten lovers, torn apart by the U.S. Civil War. (They part without shagging even once - now that's a tragedy.) She's the genteel daughter of a well-off southerner (Donald Sutherland) who kicks off, leaving her alone, pretty much penniless and struggling to survive. Enter Renée Zellweger, who manages a supreme performance as a rough-and-tumble gal who shows up to help Kidman survive. Meanwhile, Confederate-soldier-cum-deserter Law survives what seems like endless wounds, overcoming serious obstacles to make his way back to the love of his life, Kidman.

This is the third feature from Anthony Minghella, and after The English Patient and The Talented Mr. Ripley, it's become quite clear that tortured relationships are his specialty. There are some exquisite moments in this epic, making it well worth seeing. The battle scenes are exhilarating, the love scenes are gorgeous (Law's got a great ass and it's infinitely more palatable to watch him on top of Kidman than The Human Stain's Anthony Hopkins) and Zellweger turns up some super comic moments. I had thought Zellweger would fall flat on her ass, seeing as she's an actor I so closely associate with contemporary roles, but dang it, this ornery gal manages to pull it all off. Important note: do not take the kiddies to this thing, it is waaaaaaay too dark and there's a torture sequence that is disturbing to the point of being virtually unbearable.

It is impossible to dismiss the hype surrounding this film. At this point in the year, we're being overwhelmed with ads that are meant to get critics to say gushy things about movies like this, so that people like the Weinsteins can snag a few more awards for their mantelpieces. There are certainly things to merit in this movie, but I refuse to be dragged onto the bandwagon (though bandwagon rides can be fun). As well, it must be mentioned that the Canadian distributor of this film, Alliance Atlantis - the largest one in the country - has just announced the closure of Salter Street Films in Halifax. Not only did that company make some solid home grown TV programming, they were also the bright lights who made the low-budget, stellar, Oscar-winning Bowling for Columbine, one of the gutsiest and very best films of last year. Shame on them.

Though Miramax is clearly polishing this one up to bring home the Oscars, I wouldn't call it one of the best films of the year, though without a doubt it is a good one. (MH)

Big Fish William Bloom Jr. thinks his father is full of shit. Even his dad's deathbed confessions sound too much like fiction to appease Bloom (Billy Crudup), who is thinking about the nature of fathering because his young wife is pregnant with their first child. Director Tim Burton couldn't be closer to the plot in Big Fish, with the recent death of his own estranged father and the recent birth of his son, courtesy of Helena Bonham Carter.

But Big Fish did not spring fully formed from the diary of Tim Burton. It was based on a novel by Daniel Wallace, then turned into a screenplay by John August - who can be partially blamed for Charlie's Angels. Yet it's exactly as loopy and surreal as you'd expect from something that appears to be a childhood memoir of Burton's. There are stories of mythical fish, giants, time-warped towns, war heroics and bank robberies. Ewan McGregor plays Bloom Senior as a young man, while Albert Finney plays the dying man with a colourful memory of his courtship to his wife (Jessica Lange). Big Fish is, in the end, a loving ode to all the old timers who tell ripping yarns in hopes of spicing up our family mythologies. The only sticking point is the plot's occasional misstep into Forrest Gump territory. (JL)

Peter Pan From Aussie director P.J. Hogan (Muriel's Wedding) comes, strangely enough, the first live-action adaptation of J.M. Barrie's play and novel in almost 80 years (unless you count Hook, which we won't). Hogan has done a pretty great job here, with a family film that's both faithful to the language of the original and its inherent darkness - this is a movie where people actually die, and there's more than a few scary moments, though that shouldn't stop you from bringing the kids. The film is almost startlingly beautiful and stylized, with meticulously detailed sets and matte paintings (or their computer equivalent), all composed in a lush palette of blues, golds, and pinks.

The only real problem is Peter Pan himself, played by Jeremy Sumpter, a smirky young American with frosted tips. He doesn't quite fit, though the rest of the cast is terrific: newcomer Rachel Hurd-Wood (who gets more screen time than Sumpter, incidentally) is charming as Wendy Darling, Jason Isaacs plays the double role of Captain Hook and Mr. Darling, Olivia Williams is Mrs. Darling, and Lynn Redgrave appears as Aunt Millicent. You can tell the movie was made with a real passion for the material, and for this alone it's worth bringing the kids to see. (MS)

Cheaper by the Dozen Tom and Kate Baker had 12 kids - on purpose. They're not bemoaning the size of their brood. They're just trying to raise their small army of children in Illinois, where Tom (Steve Martin) is a high school football coach and Kate (Bonnie Hunt) tries to keep everyone fed and alive. Daily life is chaos, and things don't improve when the clan is uprooted to a fancy big house and a new city when Tom is promoted to coach at a big-time school. The kids whine. Kate's memoirs as a harried mother are published and she's taken on a book tour that threatens to up-end the family's balancing act of labour and love.

It's hard to watch the film and ignore the math: how do they feed these kids on one salary? What's the mortgage on that eight-bedroom house? How do they afford the sports equipment? The mind boggles. Aside from the talents of Martin, Hunt and the kids, Cheaper By the Dozen is a spectacle of size and logistics that will surely soothe smaller families into a smug holiday cheer. (JL)

The Statement Whoa, what the hell happened here? Normally much-more-than-competent filmmaker Norman Jewison teaming with superb, two-time Oscar winner Michael Caine, and - yikes - extreme kak comes out the other end! Sorry to sound crass - though worrying about sounding crass has never held me back before - but this one doesn't deserve much better. Caine plays a French (!) war criminal who's on the lam from someone (who could it be?), given bits and pieces of sanctuary and cash by his buddies within the Catholic church, who've been covering up for him all these years. His luck and time are up, and Caine looks suitably frenzied as he runs away from the forces of justice that are pursuing him. Never before has a film felt like such a glut of wasted talent: the ultra-sexy Jeremy Northam, better-than-ever Charlotte Rampling and the seriously smart Tilda Swinton co-star. In this instance, a cast this hot only makes the film seem sadder. I normally love conspiracy movies and chase capers, but this one works on neither front. (MH)

Cold Mountain, Big Fish, Peter Pan, Cheaper By the Dozen, and The Statement open Thursday, Dec. 25, Christmas Day

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