Playful poison

Dismayed that the goth subculture was being overlooked by the toy industry, sculptor Steve Varner launched his Bleeding Edge figures this year, following up on his Lara Croft and Buffy designs. Nothing is sacred to these mercilessly mischievous characters, including sassy, spooky Belladonna and friends Morbida, Dagger and Wormword. According to the packaging, "No goths were harmed in the making of this product... but some where saddened." Indeed. $19.99 at Legends Action Figures.

The full Monty

Just when you thought the world was safe from geeky, giggling guys shrieking, "We are the knights who say ni!" here it is, a massive oral history and scrapbook of the most mimic-inducing comedy troupe in history. Why now? How about because "Graham is dead so now we can say whatever we want about him..." When it came to pushing the boundaries of comic acceptability, few could match Monty Python's Flying Circus. Sure, the $85 price tag may be pushing the boundaries of what anyone is willing to pay for a book, but people probably said that about the bible too. The Pythons Autobiography by the Pythons (Thomas Dunne) is available at local bookstores. (JW)

All choked up

Lydia Lukidis' (formerly Cosmic Angels) handcrafted jewellery has become a must-have in every fashion-forward girl's jewellery box. Since being voted top local fashion designer in the Mirror's Best of Montreal 2003, Lukidis shows no sign of slowing down. This Supernova choker, made with crystals, glass beads and nylon cable wire, is part of a series inspired by fetish fashion. The perfect accessory for a naughty night out, it's $180 at Cruella, 63 Mont-Royal E., or www.lydialukidis.com. (RK)

Be a playa

Chico's bodega, Ling Ling's massage parlour and da Emergency Room are some spots you might land while playing Ghettopoly. Designed for ages 13 and up, the board game has you fencing stolen property, building crack houses and getting carjacked. Despite a pesky Hasbro lawsuit and being dropped by retailers due to pressure from humourless protesters, as of last month you can buy it online from the manufacturer, some dude named David Chang in Pennsylvania. $29.95 (U.S.) at www.ghettopoly.com. (SM)

Fair game

Playing video games is awesome. Paying for them, less awesome. Local web company Easybuy2000 has been in the business of selling video game console modification gear for years. For Playstation 2, they sell a chip that allows copied games to be played on CD-R or DVD-R. For the XBOX, you can get a chip to let you run Linux on it. And if Game Boy Advance is your giftee's flavour, a memory card puts downloaded ROMs right into the palm of the hand. Prices vary at www.easybuy2000.com (MC)

Pint-sized piracy

For most people, one thing hasn't changed about MP3s: they're still a great way to steal music. With the MPIO DMK keychain MP3 player, you can commit your larceny on the d-low, because it's only a few times larger than the single AAA battery that provides it with 10 hours of juice. Clad in an aluminum case, it comes in 64 MB and 128 MB capacities and works with both Mac and Windows. It even supports ID3 tags on its tiny LCD screen, so you can see what you're listening to. $99.99–$149.99 at Future Shop. (MC)

PG 14

Halloween is long over but it's never a bad time to play dress up. While donning a full zebra velour pimp outfit for casual Fridays at the office might not necessarily get you that raise you wanted, this kinky schoolgirl uniform just might be the right number thing to heat things up with your significant other. While shopping for the special lady in your life, remember the immortal words of Samantha K. Fox: naughty girls need love too. $89.95 at Il Bolero, 6842 St-Hubert. (RK)

Brief encounter

Chicago-based TripleBStudio has reinvented tightie-whities on a whole new scale. Billed as "the pair that can stay there," the Undy Rug takes to the floor as an accent piece or a bathmat. Approximately 2x2 feet and made of cotton chenille, any skid marks must be dry-cleaned. $32 at Urban Outfitters, 1250 Ste-Catherine W. (SM)

Auto asphyxiation

In the Spanish Between Your Legs (Entre las piernas) Oscar-nominee Javier Bardem and Almodovar regular Victoria Abril play members of a sex addicts' group, trying to get over their carnal fixations. Too late: they're soon screwing the daylights out of each other in the backseat of a car. Too bad there's also a mysterious corpse in the trunk! Hilarious and slutty, it packs lurid encounters together with Hitchcockian plot twists, to make for a surprising, constantly-gear-shifting movie. Perfect for foreign film buffs. $24.99 at video retailers. (MH)

Dishy dames

One of the specialties at Kitsch is a selection of '50s girlie plates. But everything in this retro boutique is a blast to look at, including furniture, plates, lamps and clocks. Friendly shop owner and collector Pierre de Bellefeuille describes his hand-picked wares as "definitely not the kind of thing you see at IKEA." Prices vary anywhere from $2 to $285, at 5365 Parc. (MH)

Get down, boy

BC-based Wiener Wear specializes in functional fashions for Dachshunds. Their canine camo hoodie keeps hot dogs hot this winter with a double hood, while being carefully cut to ensure "the freedom to cruise." Turtlenecks, jean jackets and car coats with fun fur collars - in various colours and made from recycled materials - are about $35 at www.wienerwear.biz. (SM)

The Mirror Gift Guide coordinated by SARAH MUSGRAVE.
By MICHAEL CITROME, MATTHEW HAYS, RAF KATIGBAK, SARAH MUSGRAVE and JULIET WATERS.