by RUPERT BOTTENBERG

Given the advent of the DVD and the resultant ubiquity of tacked-on behind-the-scenes clips, movie buffs are increasingly familiar with the standardized routine of these dull, hollow and obnoxiously self-congratulatory mini-docs. That last offence is particularly glaring in the case of George Lucas, whose second Star Wars trilogy has been a colossal disappointment.

Filmmaker, thespian and fat balding guy Damon Packard has capitalized on another technological breakthrough of the '90s - the computer as amateur editing suite - to have a running go at that gassy pimp Lucas. Above and beyond hoisting Lucas and his fat-fuck pal Rick McCallum by their own retarded petards, The Untitled Star Wars Mockumentary is a sterling example of what a caffeinated console chimp can accomplish with a Mac, an Attack of the Clones DVD, a solid collection of bad '70s horror flicks and a handycam.

Packard and his doofus compadres deploy several tactics in their endeavour. The simplest is the overdub, inserting cuss words and ugly threats into the mouths of Yoda, Christopher Lee and Sam Jackson. That shit's funny enough. They also splice in footage of themselves as though they were Lucasfilm lackeys like those in the actual clip - a segment where Lucas is crunching numbers and acting all shoestring and shit is suitably violated.

Finally, and this is the winning move, fragments from all manner of crap gore movies and whatever are sewn into Star Wars trailers at a dizzying pace, buttressed with ridiculous sound effects. This is USWM's strength - the comedy is generally puerile, high school stuff, but it comes at you in such a furious frenzy of foolishness that you're laughing out loud, and hard, several times in a single minute. It's the media-barrage approach that once served The Simpsons so well. It doesn't have to be comedy gold if you bring it on fast and dense enough and keep the viewer occupied so they don't glom on to the fact that having the black Jedi go, "I's gonna kill y'all, muthah fuckah!" isn't the pinnacle of Western civilization's wit.

USWM screens with Ruta Destroy!, Sage Stallone: Portrait of a Madman at Cinéma du Parc on Friday,
Dec. 12 and Saturday Dec. 13, 11pm

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