Dear Anthony,
I take your expectations seriously, buddy. Maybe we just didn't go into asexuality enough for you to take it seriously.
Asexuality is a real orientation. I remember it being somewhat fashionable back in the '80s (less than bisexuality, though, but more fascinating for sure - so exotic, so… Rutger Hauer in Blade Runner). But looking back on the asexuals I knew then, I think it may have had more to do with chemical interference that true nature. Heroin, in other words.
Perhaps it is because we live in a culture that places such a high premium on panting and heaving libido (without actually explaining to us why it's so important or guiding us in a healthy way, rather than in a way that drives us all mad with insecurity and self-loathing), that we forget that some people just don't want to fuck. And they're healthy not fucking. These people should be permitted to enjoy their lives unfettered by The Fucking.
One of my theories is that people are envious of asexuals, the assumption being that they somehow have it easy not having to fret about all the stuff that sexual people do. And we all know what happens when people are envious of other peoples' sexual orientation: they get all sceptical and uppity and then they tell them they're sick, which, granted, sometimes they are.
Seriously, aren't there days when you just wish you didn't have to obsess and scheme over getting laid, wondering how your dick was, if it was adequately sized, if you were a desirable fellow, if your body was hot? Probably, but like any orientation, asexuality has many nuances, some of which also pertain to issues of attraction. As David Jay said when I got back to him on the matter: "Personally, being asexual doesn't mean that I'm only interested in the non-sexual side, it means I'm interested in blurring the line. It's not that I'm afraid of sex or repulsed by it, I just don't see why it should matter. I still worry about all the sexual stuff that sexual people worry about, just without the sex. No, I don't have to stress over size, but I get plenty of new things to stress about, like how I'm supposed to care about people without the phrase ‘just friends' coming into the mix. I would say that, at our core, asexual people want the exact same things as sexual people, it's just that we employ different methods to get them."
See, just like every orientation, asexuals struggle with how they convey and receive attraction, a complex position in a world where this quality is defined primarily by sex (getting it, giving it, wanting it).
While I agree that this predicament probably sucks for his girlfriend, I also don't see why it would be a blessing for many other women, unless they too, were asexual. Sure, people lose sexual interest in their primary relationships, but this is way different than being asexual. What this might point to is that they are more inclined to polygamy.
