M Yo, man, what the fuck? I'm so tired of going to shows and being bullied by STRAIGHT-EDGE kids for smoking and drinking, okay? I'm sorry, I want to have a cigarette and I want to have a beer, and these little pricks, these straight-edge kids - I don't even know where they come from! The other day one of my friends got punched in the face because he was having a cigarette at a Youth of Today show. Man. [BLEEP!]

M This is a call in support of the anti-godspeed rant. Man oh man, I am so in agreement. I am so fucking sick of it. godspeed this, godspeed that - on billboards and bus shelters. godspeed! godspeed! All the radio play, it drives me crazy. I can't even walk down the street without there being some mention of godspeed. And it's true, they're so goddamn selfish, they opened two clubs on St-Laurent and you don't have to pay to play at the Casa. I mean, what kind of bastards, you know? Providing a soundman and all that shit. Not making you go and pay 80 bucks to play and having you pay for the soundman. What a bunch of bastards who think they're so special. They really, really are so fucking selfish and nihilistic, like she's saying, so over-dramatic. They make me sick. All that giving. Who the fuck do they think they are - trying to be so different and shit? [BLEEP!]

M To the guy who said that Biggie Smalls and Tupac weren't artists. First of all, just because an artist is underground and obscure doesn't make them REAL HIP HOP artists. What makes them artists is when they can create pictures and you can visualize what they're saying and they can play around with the rhymes and be clever with words. Biggie Smalls is that, okay? These underground artists that you mentioned - these obscure artists that most people don't know about - doesn't make them better or worse artists. Biggie Smalls had the ability to be street and commercial at the same time. To say that Biggie Smalls is not an artist shows that you don't know anything about hip hop and you're one of these NEW JACK hip hoppers, BACKPACKERS who think that everything that's unknown and underground is real and everything that's popular and commercial is not real. You're ridiculous. [BLEEP!]

M For the individual who didn't enjoy the Kidnapper Films Variety Show and who obviously has no appreciation for a good papier maché volcano. Maybe if you'd been paying attention to the actual show and not sitting around trying to categorize every person in the room in terms of Montreal bars and municipalities, you may have noticed that something exciting is actually happening in this city. Life is a lot more fun when you can appreciate what happens when you mix baking soda and vinegar. [BLEEP!]

M This is in response to that rant about the Kidnapper Films Variety Show. Listen, man, we're really sorry about giving you that WEDGIE in Grade 9. We sincerely apologize from the bottom of our hearts. We really didn't think it was going to come back to bite us on our ass now, 10 years later. But it did and we're sorry and we deserve it and, tell you what, to make it up, we're going to give you free tickets to our next show. So just let us know where we can give you those tickets and we promise we're not going to hang you on the fence and leave you there for the lunch lady to pick you up. All right. [BLEEP!]

M How many punks does it take to change a light bulb? Trick question. Punks can't change anything. [BLEEP!]

M [considerably distraught] Yo, you guys want a real rant? Listen to this. Punks aren't dead. I may not dress like it, I may not listen to the music but, believe me, I am a social outcast and I know my shit. I'll put it to you this way. There's gonna be a REBELLION soon against our government because I am homeless. I can walk down the street and you can pass by me and not even know it. Lookit, I don't care about you as much as you don't care about me. I care just enough for myself to walk my sorry ass to the soup kitchens. Now all you bastards who think that that is not fucking punk, well, I'll tell you this right now: in England when it all started, they didn't have soup kitchens, they forced their government to change. This government fucking sucks because I've tried getting on welfare to better myself and they don't fucking give two shits and didn't even give me a chance. My name is G, also known as HAVOC. I wander the streets most nights and whenever I'm not, it's because it's too cold, so I haul my sorry ass to shelters where I can stay warm. But I do not care about anything other than myself, except, actually, I do care if you print this rant. Listen up, all you guys who think you've got a good rant: you got shit. [BLEEP!]

Next week: Open forum