by RAF KATIGBAK

It seems like the people over at Disney have imagineered a great way to save money. Instead of building theme park rides based on movies, they've decided to make movies based on already existing attractions. While the first film Country Bears) was a disaster, the second (Pirates of the Caribbean) was a smash success both with critics and at the box office. The Haunted Mansion marks Disney's third attempt at turning a theme park ride into a feature length film (what's next - Ferris Wheel: The Movie?).

Murphy plays a workaholic real estate agent whose love-starved wife/business partner (Marsha Thomason) is desperate for some quality time with Murphy and the kids. On the way to a weekend at the lake, Murphy detours to a huge and decrepit New Orleans estate in hopes of closing a big deal. What was supposed to be a 20-minute stay turns into a night of running from ghosts, clobbering zombies and trying to free Thomason from the plans of a diabolical ghost, all the while learning all sorts of Disney-esque lessons about love, perseverance and the irritating family values.

When the best performance in the film is from four CGI busts singing barbershop quartet, you gotta start worrying. While Murphy provides a few laughs, on the whole his acting rather flat, which is at least consistent with all the other actors' forgettable performances. In any good horror movie the director will have you screaming for the victims or urging on the villains. In The Haunted Mansion Rob Minkoff (director of such gory horror fests as Stuart Little 1 and 2) has us doing neither. That said, this is a Disney movie and probably not supposed to have kids soiling their diapers in terror. But even as a family film, The Haunted Mansion is so gimmicky and so watered down it left no impression at all. When so-called scary family movies like The Haunted Mansion play it safe, it seems less like a thrill ride and more like an insult to kids' intelligence.

The Haunted Mansion is now playing

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