by CHRIS BARRY

Name: Steve Schettini

Age: 51

Occupation: Meditation teacher

Bio: This blissfully unpretentious Hudson iconoclast and one-time ordained Buddhist monk was but a boy when he first left his London home to hitchhike to India back in the early 1970s. Studying for close to eight years in a monastery run by exiled Tibetan Buddhist monks, he gradually became disillusioned by the orthodoxy of religion and decided to rejoin Western society by first relocating to Switzerland and then, finally, to Montreal. A writer and author of note, he has recently begun to conduct meditation classes in both Hudson and Westmount.

Something about Tibetan Buddhism he's not particularly fond of: The pressure to conform. "Conformity has never done anything good for any religion. The people who give religion a good name are people like Jesus, who was a rebel, or Moses, who was a maniac."

During his time in India, did he come across many monks who could best be described as assholes? "Absolutely, of course. Basically, there is exactly the same range of personality and character that you find anywhere. There are plenty of Reverend Lovejoys in Tibetan Buddhism, but there are some damn good teachers as well."

Did he practice celibacy as a monk? Yes.

Does this involve walking around with a constant erection forever crying out to be loved? Not so much. "I was very disciplined. But I don't believe in this anymore. This whole concept of denying your sexuality at all costs is unnatural and leads to all sorts of problems - like the kind so many Catholic priests are having. The other thing [which made it easier] is that when you live in a monastery you are not exposed to the endless sexual imagery and innuendo, the continual stimulation, that you are in the West. But what I truly did miss was the company, the emotional rapport, with women. That was much harder for me."

Another way Buddha helped to make his celibacy just a little bit easier: By delivering him the occasional wet dream.

On his course: "It's fun and stimulates people. People tell me it helps them sleep better and that the next day they are more aware and much more in their skin. And that's what it's all about, getting into your skin."

How to sign up: www.schettini.com.

The price of enlightenment: $150 for 10 90-minute sessions.

Do his students ever become sexually attracted to him, believing he is all-knowing, holy and righteous and that to be baptized in his seed might help to bring them closer to God? "Yes, this certainly used to happen back when I was teaching in Switzerland. I don't think it's so much sexual as romantic. But I think I've become a better teacher now and I'm very careful to undermine myself. It's very important to me that people keep me in perspective as an ordinary, flawed human being."

Last book read: Straw Dogs: Thoughts on Humans and Other Animals, by John Gray.

Musical preferences: Bach, Satchmo.

Television preferences: Whoopie. "She's really politically incorrect and I love it."

Words of wisdom: "No one has got the answers."

Comments? dimwit@openface.ca