F This is for that asshole who says that CHOM never plays REAL ROCK. I mean, what's Led Zeppelin? What's the Beatles? What's Bruce Springsteen, the Who? That's not real rock?! Just because they don't play dipshits like the Strokes or some other band that has their head up their ass!! [BLEEP!]

F Oh my, godspeed you! black emperor. It pisses me off to even imagine all you nihilistic, selfish, over-dramatic babies thinking you're doing anything RADICAL at all. Unless you want to call posing as punk and politically aware radical. I mean, how many bad anglo cafes on St-Laurent can one band finance? Will your little bad hearts ever realize how far your heads are up your asses? The only thing that makes me want to vomit more than your undeserved popularity is your stage presence. Out. [BLEEP!]

M Hey. What's up? This is Quadraceptor, Montreal beatboxer, and I'm doing a BOOK with Kid Lucky, a beatboxer from New York. He's got a company called Beatboxer Entertainment, that's www.beatboxerent.com, and we're putting together a book called The Beat Generation. We're chronicling the stories, the tales and adventures of every beatboxer around the world. So this is a call-out to all mouth musicians, beatboxers and local percussionists - if you have a story to tell, please, please e-mail me at quadraceptor@cliffhanger.com. Thanks a lot, looking forward to hearing your stories. [BLEEP!]

F Is everybody in Montreal only into rock and funk? Where are all the hip hoppers out there? Why don't the people talk about Tupac or Biggie Smalls? Or reggae music? Come on, punks aren't the only ones that read this paper. I think it should be varied. So all the hip hoppers out there, people who are into reggae, call up, leave your rant, say something really good! [BLEEP!]

M To the guy bitching about increased police presence at punk shows. You think the cops are going to be able to bug us fucking punks? Punks are NOMADS. We're always traveling from city to city, town to town, province to province, fucking street to street and we're still around. Chaos DOES rule, it always has and it always will be. Do you think the punks are scared of the pigs? No, we're not. As for the pigs, they like fuckin' gangster rappers more than they like punks. I don't know what that's about, but whatever. The point is, punks are here to stay whether you like it or not. So either get a life and accept it or just die like we want you to. [BLEEP!]

M I got a rant. It's about dickheads calling the Rant Line™ going on about punk this and punk that, old-fashioned destruction, real punk versus poseurs and all that. Well, here's a reality check, boys. All you so-called punks are social outcasts who probably wrote letters to yourselves when you were kids and all the riots and Warped tours in the world will never change the fact that you're the scabies of this planet with no ideals and morals of your own. Now get your fucking squeegee off my windshield before I cram it up your filthy emaciated ass. Thank you. [BLEEP!]

M I just wanted to say something about people coming down on La Chango Family. I've never even seen this group but I'm going to stand up for them just for putting something together and getting out there and actually making a show. I think somebody said something about their success. God forbid they should want to be successful! God forbid they should not want to be an example of WASTED YOUTH, sitting around and thinking that their criticism and their apathy is an art in and of itself. [BLEEP!]

M For the guy who wants to get a Hebrew tattoo. I got a lot of tattoos in my youth, some Hebrew, some not, and this is what I've discovered since. Basically, different people have different paths. The Jew's body is a vehicle for the soul and not a shell or carcass, as it is for Buddhists. When Adam was in the garden his body shined so bright it could illuminate hundreds of miles. Only after being expelled did we lose our brightness. So, if you treat your body properly and only use it for holy things, you can skip levels in your spiritual advancement. And that's one of the main reasons why I EAT KOSHER. As for the Hebrew letters, they all mean something. The 22 letters of the Bible were used to create the universe, so when you write them they have great MYSTICAL POWERS. And that's why you have to be very careful where you get tattooed. And remember, you will always get so much more enjoyment from the Torah or in the Talmud than from any tattoo. [BLEEP!]

M This is in response to the Chronic Masturbator. I can't believe someone actually had the balls to come out and talk about it. But I agree with you. I think we should all be able to masturbate wherever, whenever we feel like it and that's it. God bless you. [BLEEP!]

Next week: Open forum