Dear Sasha: On an evening out with my boyfriend and a very old friend I hadn't seen in a long time, I was shocked to hear from them both that it's a fact that most men cheat on their girlfriend or wife regularly - an average of once a month. I was wondering if there are any statistics on this. This has been in my head for a while now and I would really appreciate knowing so I can continue to go through life not being so naïve with my perspective on men. » M.A.B.
Dear M.A.B.,
You want some cold-water stats do you? No problem. I decided a few weeks ago that I needed an intern. His name is Paul, and don't worry, just because he's from England doesn't mean I'll be inserting belaboured Englishisms into my column like "rubber" and "fag." I assigned him his first task: to compile what I call the Whorpers Sindex. Take it away, Paul!
• Percentage of men who admit to cheating on their spouse in a 2000 New York Times poll: 45 • Percentage of women who admit to cheating on their spouse in a 2000 New York Times poll: 35 • The amount of times the term "catch a cheating spouse" appears in a Google search: 13,400 • Number of books currently published by Greenery Press about open sexual lifestyles: 38 • Divorce rate in Canada (2002): 37 per 100 marriages • Number of times "swingers" comes up in Google references: "about 3,080,000" • Number of marriage counsellors listed in the Toronto Yellow Pages: 165 • Percentage of men who have fantasies involving current partner: 46 • Percentage of women who have fantasies involving current partner: 64 • Percentage of men whose fantasies involve someone who has never been the participant's partner: 78 • Percentage of women whose fantasies involve someone who has never been the participant's partner: 66 • Number of visitors on www.married-woman-personals.com since Dec. 15, 2002: 234,280 • Percentage of mammal species that are monogamous: 3 • Percentage of bird species that are monogamous: 90
"While it's true that greatly reduced promiscuity is the first definition of a monogamous species," writes Deborah Blum in Sex on the Brain: The Biological Differences Between Men and Women, "it is equally true that many cheat when the opportunity arises." Including, according to a study done by Patty Gowaty of the University of Georgia, our monogamous idols, birds. And we do mean the type with wings, right Paul?
Dear Sasha: Is ingesting your own menstrual blood good for you? If it can nutritionally support a growing fetus and is rich in iron, is recycling it back into the system a good idea? I'm thinking especially for women living with anaemia or more specifically iron deficiency. » To Flush or Swallow
Dear F or S,
Michelle Bodner, a naturopathic doctor, says: "There are a lot easier ways of treating anaemia or iron deficiency than drinking your own menstrual blood. Menstrual blood is not made entirely of blood; there is blood in it, but there are a lot of other fluids too" - white blood cells, water, mucin and discarded tissue cells, to be precise (so snot, then). What this means is that despite how much it might look like the richest, most restorative blood you've ever seen, it is not as high in iron as you might think. Bodner does say though, that because it contains the heme form of iron, also found in meat, it is actually easier to absorb than the iron you can get from natural sources she recommends, like Dong Quai, alfalfa and the liquid supplement Floradex. The thing is, iron needs to be taken more consistently to be effective. You could certainly try it; it's not dangerous at any rate, along with other supplements, but do try natural ones, as Bodner pointed out that most commercial ones available in drug stores contain sulphates and are constipating. A good way of collecting it is by gathering it in a Keeper.
I would also hazard to guess that placenta, when it really gets to work, is somewhat more potent than the average monthly shedding, and Bodner says that those who ingest it after giving birth are after the hormones, not the iron.
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