Dear Sasha: I'm sure you've answered this before, but I was wondering about the life span of STDs outside of the body. Let me further explain: I work at an Internet sex company and there are a few girls who operate in the same room as me. Before and after every shift I wipe down the keyboard, mouse etc., but was wondering if it's possible for any STD to live outside of the body and be contracted in such a manner as by touching an object. » Tanya

Dear Tanya,
"I presume," STD counsellor Lyba Spring wrote back to my inquiry, "that these women are masturbating while being filmed. My initial thought was that any danger of transmission was negligible."

Just to be sure, Lyba got in touch with an STD public-health nurse and a public-health inspector. The final analysis is that you would need to both carefully clean the keyboard then go over it with alcohol wipes to reduce certain risks "to low but not zero." Apparently, bits and business from under the nails can get into the keyboard and hide there. "Hepatitis B is quite virulent," says Spring. "It can live in dried blood for days, but you would have to have finger splits from the cold or a similar skin condition to allow it to enter the bloodstream directly from vaginal fluids."

A few suggestions, in case you're worried about things like Hep A and B, are to get immunized against them (do some research on this in advance), or bring in you own keyboard and mouse. You can also get a plastic spurt guard for the keyboard.

Dear Sasha: Can you tell me if there are any qualified doctors who perform foreskin restoration surgery? I feel I'm missing a small yet significant piece of my manhood, and I'm serious about reclaiming my long-lost hoody. Is the procedure costly? Will the results look natural? And will I gain any sensitivity over time? » Undercover

Dear Undercover,
If you go online you can find detailed sites on how to perform this task without surgery. Although perhaps you already have, and the Loomponics-like fanaticism has made you uncomfortable and this is why you're inquiring about a surgeon. Some men who perform at-home foreskin restoration claim to have increased sensation, but I would too if I went to all the trouble of taping up my dick every day for three years and documenting it in public.

Let's call Dr. Stubbs and see what he has to say. "We do accept tissue stretching as a bona fide technique," he explains. "But most shaft skin has been stretched to the max because of erection, and it's like eyelid skin: it's very thin. I do foreskin restorations, but a man has to understand he may be missing up to six inches of tissue. It's hard to come by six inches of skin. If they have a larger scrotum, you can steal from there, if not, you have to take from elsewhere and they end up looking like a banded coral snake. You don't get the aesthetic result desired. I tend to dissuade them."

The operation is a multiphase reconstruction (they have to tuck your penis into your scrotum for three weeks and it has to be done with a hard-on), and there is a great potential for dissatisfaction (read: massive lawsuits). It's also very expensive: 10 grand. You can check out one of Stubbs' restorations on this page of his site: www.psurg.com/fskin.html.

Whores of the world unite!

The Coalition for the Rights of Sex Workers is holding an erotic cabaret/benefit at L'Aigle Noir (1315 Ste-Catherine E.) on Wednesday, Nov. 5, and it promises to be a sensual and comedic smorgasbord. Performers include bellydancer Dakini Baladi, The Dead Doll Dancers ("infamous for their great legs, raunchy humour, addictions and incredible lack of talent") and DJ VAL, who will be spinning, shaking and MCing the evening. Advance tickets are $8 at Venez Tels Quels (5427 St. Laurent) and Cuir Northbound (1323 Ste-Catherine E.), or 10 bucks at the door.

Got any questions for Sasha? Write her at
465 McGill Street, 3rd floor, Montreal, Quebec, H2Y 4B4
Fax: 393-3173
e-mail: pouledeluxe@yahoo.com