by GABRIEL MORENCY

Like hockey? Think you know who is going to win? Want to bet on it?

Evidently you do. Last year, Quebecers spent more than $46.5-million at over 8,000 lotto machines on Mise-O-Jeu tickets, and the NHL is the biggest cash cow. Add the influx of Internet sport books and the guy who knows a guy who knows a guy who can get some action down on the Monday Nighter and there's a lot of sports gambling going on in La Belle Province.

Loto-Québec's party line is that Internet sport books are not a threat to their operations. But if you believe that then you probably also believe that they were shocked and appalled that loansharkers were set up in the Casino, passing out cash like they were freaking bank machines. People may have forgiven Jose Theodore for his family's arrest, but the VIP room at the Casino hasn't been the same since (one casino employee said business was down as much as 30 per cent), as regulars no longer have anyone to be extorted by (besides the bank machines themselves) and Montreal's high-rolling, free-spending underworld is either in jail or avoiding the place like Donald Audette does corners.

While Mise-O-Jeu is convenient, its payouts pale in comparison to what a sports book or local bookie would give you for the same selections (and we're not just saying that because an offshore sports book happens to be one of our radio sponsors). Smart betters, though, can and have made a killing by going against the home team, since the average fan can't resist laying it down on the Habs, Expos and Als, leaving Loto-Québec no choice but to make lines with more holes than Annabel Chong after a long day at the office.

So think twice about rooting for the home team, if they lose yes it is a shame… shame on you for not cashing in.

Random Rage

Two weeks in and so far so good, as Bob Gainey's Canadiens have come as advertised. Last year's group of apathetic bystanders now plays like a unit that actually cares about the outcome and their efforts are being rewarded. The Canadiens legitimately now have a chance to win on a nightly basis and Project Restoration Pride is up and running.

The box office, though, has been another story, as Montrealers take a wait-and-see approach. The Habs not only failed to sell out their home opener, but scalpers are actually missing the Expos! So far, the only true sellout came last Saturday night for the Leafs game, thanks to thousands of Torontonians who for some reason are a hell of a lot louder and drunker at the Bell Centre than in the morgue that is the Air Canada Centre (freaking corporate rink names!!).

But while it is disturbing to hear chants of "Go Leafs Go" echo through the Bell Centre, it isn't as bad as hearing the ingrates who have routinely been booing the Star Spangled Banner and embarrassing us all in the process. Either the Bell Centre (urghhh!) has become a political think-tank full of foreign policy experts who oppose George Bush and Donald Rumsfeld's invade first and ask questions later agenda or, despite our screams to the contrary, we Quebecers have more in common with France than I would like to admit.

No Justice

Feeling warm and fuzzy for Lowlife and Scumbag yet? Didn't think so. The Marlins' post-season success is a cruel and unusual punishment for Montrealers who still blame the dynamic duo for the Expos implosion and imminent departure.

But while it's true that L&S have less class than an STM bus driver during rush hour, it's worth remembering that the same consortium ownership group that is suing Loria, Samson and Major League Baseball for conspiring to eliminate the Expos franchise wanted to spend about as much on the team as former Edmonton Oiler Glen Anderson wants to spend on child support.

Throw in the fact that the consortium are actually minority owners of the Marlins and the situation is as laughable as Oakland Raiders owner Al Davis suing himself, which he once unwittingly did.

Pigskin Picks

Sunday, October 26: Cleveland +5.5 at New England: Pick Cleveland; Carolina +1 at New Orleans: Pick New Orleans; Buffalo +7 at Kansas City: Pick Buffalo.

Puck Picks

Saturday, October 25: Chicago at L.A.: Pick L.A.; Washington at Toronto: Pick Toronto; Carolina at Philadelphia: Pick Philadelphia.

Sports Rage is vented weeknights 11 p.m.-2 a.m. on TEAM 990 AM. Comments: sportsrage@team990.com