Punkin' Pumpkins: Some people like to carve beautiful pumpkins straight out of Martha Stewart's carefully regulated wet dreams. Others prefer a natural look, arranging squashes, gourds, pumpkins and other spheroid Cucurbita in a pastoral style. Still others trick out their pumpkins with realistic blood, knife wounds, brains, maggots, nuclear waste and puke. Check out some extreme pumpkins at www.extremepumpkins.com/ind.html. "Drowning in a Bag" is particularly creepy.

Facial challenge: I've heard of nightclubs, chess clubs, strip clubs gun clubs, fan clubs, and even swingers clubs, but beard clubs are something new to me. Apparently they're fraternal orders based around facial hair. Their gala event is the World Beard and Moustache Championships, where categories include best freestyle goatee, best Fu Manchu moustache and best full beard (natural). Previous champs include Istanbul, Turkey's Memili Rüstüoglu, whose freestyle moustache makes him look like some kind of exotic beetle. Naturally, the competition is dominated by the Germans. Comb your face at www.worldbeardchampionships.com.

Comments? Michael Citrome