Dear Sasha: I have been appointed the unfortunate task of coordinating a friend's bachelor party. After opting to forego having one myself, I'm now dreading the prospect of putting together an evening of titillation for the groom-to-be. My problem is this: I find strip clubs to be boring and predictable, not to mention uncomfortable for the poor bastard who has to climb up on stage and swing around a pole with nothing but a sock on his wang (or so I've heard). Escorts and hostess bars are also totally out of the question-I don't want to gross out his fiancée, who is a real sweetheart. What can you suggest that still holds true to the bachelor party ethos while being new, quirky and sexy? How do you suggest I plan something that is a little more progressive than the standard fare? » Best Man

Dear Best,
You know what's really sexy? A man who can say, "I prefer silicone for my insertables, don't you?" I'm going to get a little crazy here and propose you book a night with a professional who hosts sex toy parties. I know readers are going to say this is a totally unrealistic suggestion. I don't fucking care. You boys should all know more about goings on like this and you should all be proud of that knowledge. I have one or two male friends who take a great deal of interest in the particulars of their lovers' pleasure as well as their own and that, my friend, is impressive. What you have to do is convince other participants that the information imparted on this night will be incredibly, and truly, arousing to both themselves and the people they sleep with. In Montreal, try info@joytoys.com.

Breaking away from worn-out traditions is hard to do, but I will reiterate a point I've made in the past: reluctant men rarely enjoy stag parties put on by their reluctant friends. Marriage is changing and so should the customs surrounding it.

Dear Sasha: How do I put this without going into five pages of detail? I am currently dating a woman who is a liar. We've been together for under six months, still, I have very strong feelings for her, and I don't know if I can leave her over something that I feel (from my pop-psychology perspective) may be the result of some pretty serious childhood abuse. The problem is, when I confront her on things, she yells at me and shuts down. I would appreciate any comments or suggestions, as this is extremely frustrating. » Pinocchio's Fool

Dear Fool,
"A liar is not believed even though he tells the truth" is what a fortune cookie told me just last week, and I could leave it, all deep and haiku-like, at that. But I will elaborate.

The first person you have a priority to in any relationship is yourself. If you stay in a relationship with someone who needs to fabricate details to get by, you will go out of your goddamn mind, and you only have one mind so trying getting away from it when you are going out of it. You're basically dating someone who has superhero powers, and not the fun kind. Would you try to beat up the Green Lantern? Outswim Aquaman? Go head to head with Elektra? People who lie have ultimate power over the integrity of your life. Your reality will shift profoundly when you're dating someone whose objective is to make you believe all the fantasies that come into their head and then out of their mouth. Look at it this way: supposing you actually found out that the FBI had hired this person to date you and wear away at your self-esteem for however long it took. Would you still go out them? If yes, why? So you could see if you were up to the challenge? In simple terms, this is what it is to date someone who lies.

And speaking of priorities, this woman has a priority to being healthy for herself, too, and if she's not willing to red-flag her mental well-being, then what chance do you stand?

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