by RUPERT BOTTENBERG

Every prophet is persecuted in his own time. Montreal’s mischievous minstrel Mike Gee gets persecuted too, as his roguishly frank musings on drugs, doo-doo and the mysteries of human sexuality have made him a lightning rod for controversy, cat calls and pulled plugs. But those who dismissed him as some fat, talentless Jewboy with a potty mouth and mommy issues have another thing coming! After holing up for a year at the clandestine Xerxes Viande Compound with his “Family Tree”—producer Synaptic Loop, beatboxing bro’ Dave and far-sighted, rigidly disciplinarian manager the Colonel—Mike Gee presents Live From the Gee Spot, a masterful mix of gang-bangin’ hip hop, fruity synth pop and puerile trash talk.

Mirror: You say Live From the Gee Spot is the most important album of 2003, more important that Beyoncé, Bowie or even Radiohead. What makes it so important?

Mike Gee: Live from the Gee Spot is the greatest piece of music ever recorded by any human anywhere. This album will leave people with pee and poo in their trousers after the first three seconds. I don’t hear Bowie, Beyoncé or Radiohead making people make caca in their pantalones. But more importantly, it’s the best music to ever have come out of Montreal. I mean, every other band in Montreal literally sucks the ball sweat offa my Balzac, in a manner of speaking. No musician in this town can ever hold a candle to me because I’m the greatest performer of all time and my album is the best in the world. I’m sure that once the album comes out, everyone will agree.

M: I think a lot of folks, especially your enemies, will be surprised at the musicality and quality production on the record. It sounds like a lot of work went into it.

MG: Damn straight, fool! A lot of haters think that I just get into the studio and sniff the farts out of my old underpants. On the contrary, I put my fuckin’ heart and soul into those tapes. In fact, after some of my vocal takes, I would cry tears of blood because it was so good. The Synaptic Loop once tried to kill himself after recording “Gimme Back my Coke” because he thought that he had reached the height of artistic expression.

M: While at its heart a rap album, it’s also got a lot of that ’80s synth-pop flavour to it. There’s even a nod to Kraftwerk in there. What were you going for, sound-wise?

MG: Whodini meets New Order on acid. We decided one day to do a cover of Kraftwerk because we liked their song “Pocket Calculator” but realized that we could do it much better than any German could. Even Arnold Schwarzeneggar couldn’t rock the mic like the Miker does.

M: You have yet to be allowed to play a complete set in Montreal, and now the people who pressed your CD refuse to press any more. Maybe I’m the paranoid type, but it seems like there’s a conspiracy to keep the Miker down.

MG: I’m glad you brought that up. There is an international conspiracy right now to keep my music under wraps. First it was with shows, they would pull the plug on me, now the CD duplicator doesn’t want to do the second pressing of the album because they think it’s too filthy. This album is the most honest expression of the human condition ever recorded and if they can’t handle that, it’s their own problem, not mine. I just say ‘Fuck ’em in the heart,’ I’m the best and its only a matter of time before people get to see that for themselves.

CD launch with Egotestical at Jupiter Room on Saturday, Sept. 13, 9pm, $3

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