by MARK SLUTSKY

With one of the least memorable movie summers in years finally behind us, we can cast our eyes towards the fall season with some relief, as the months between September and December generally offer the year’s most concentrated dose of quality flicks.

SUPER-SIZED SAGAS

First, there are the concluding chapters of the two biggest movie sagas of recent years. The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King looks to wrap the series up in style, with mega-battles, Mordor, and a big spider (Dec. 17). And then there’s the question of the The Matrix Revolutions—will it rule or will it suck? Who knows, but after the tepid response to Reloaded, one can only hope the Wachowski brothers are planning less talk, more rock (Nov. 5). Also on the action tip is Quentin Tarantino’s long-awaited Kill Bill: Volume 1, starring Uma Thurman and David Carradine. As you may know, the kung fu flick has been bisected into two movies to cut down running time (Oct. 10).

Tom Cruise goes into epic mode with The Last Samurai, based on the story of an American soldier in Japan. Can Cruise rock the Toshiro Mifune styles? We’ll see (Dec. 5). The Alamo also goes for the sweeping historical stuff, namely the famous siege of a Texan fort. Dennis Quaid, Jason Patric, and Billy Bob Thornton (as Davy Crockett!) star (Dec. 25). And Russell Crowe dons a ponytail and sailor’s garb in Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World, directed by Aussie filmmaker Peter Weir (Nov. 14).

ROCK STARS

More action arrives in the form of The Rundown, starring The Rock, Seann William Scott, Christopher Walken and Rosario Dawson. Something about treasure hunting in South America, this looks like a real ’80s-style adventure flick—not necessarily a bad thing... (Sept. 26). Also opening sometime in September is the much touted Hong Kong flick Shaolin Soccer, about monks who turn their fighting skills to sport.

The season, as always, also promises some good ol’ scary movies. One of the scariest of them all, Alien, is due for a rerelease, this time as Ridley Scott’s “director’s cut,” promising some new footage (Oct. 31). Not a rerelease, but a remake, is The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, starring Jessica Biel and a bunch of teens. Can’t see how they’d possibly improve on (or even match) the original, but who knows (Oct. 17). The locally shot Gothika is French director Mathieu Kassovitz’s (La Haine) first Hollywood flick, concerning a psychiatrist (Halle Berry) who ends up in a mental ward... as a patient! Nooooo! Penelope Cruz and Robert Downey Jr. co-star (Oct. 24). Also in the scary vein, though presumably a little lighter, is The Haunted Mansion, based on the Disney ride and starring Eddie Murphy. Doesn’t sound that promising, but hey, neither did Pirates of the Caribbean... (Nov. 26).

SERIOUS STUFF

One of the most promising-looking movies opening this season is Sofia Coppola’s Lost in Translation, which was all the rage at the Venice film fest. Bill Murray and Scarlett Johansson star in the movie, set in Tokyo (Sept. 19). Another festival hit is Gus van Sant’s shades-of-Columbine drama Elephant, which just played here at the World Film Festival—it opens Oct. 24. Nicole Kidman, Anthony Hopkins, and Ed Harris star in The Human Stain, based on the novel by Philip Roth. Directed by Robert Benton, it was shot largely in Montreal (Sept. 26), as was Beyond Borders, a drama set against the backdrop of international relief work in the ’80s , starring Angelina Jolie and Clive Owen (Oct. 24).

On the all-star cast front, there’s Runaway Jury, pitting Dustin Hoffman against Gene Hackman in a (gulp) John Grisham-derived courtroom drama (Oct. 17). There’s also lots of good names in Clint Eastwood’s murder mystery Mystic River: Sean Penn, Marcia Gay Harden, Kevin Bacon, Laurence Fishburne, Tim Robbins and Laura Linney all star (Oct. 8). Penn also appears in 21 Grams, Alejandro González Iñárritu’s English-language follow-up to Amores Perros. The plot is being kept under wraps, but we know that Naomi Watts and Benicio del Toro costar (Nov. 14). Still the casting madness continues in Cold Mountain, from director Anthony Minghella (The English Patient), and based on the book by Charles Frazier. Nicole Kidman, Jude Law, Philip Seymour Hoffman, Renée Zellweger, Jack White and Natalie Portman are the Oscar bait in this Civil War epic, filmed in Romania (Dec. 25).

LAST STOP FOR LAFFS

Fans of the mighty Will Ferrell will likely be pleased by his latest, Elf, directed by actor/helmer Jon Favreau. Ferrell plays a guy adopted by Santa’s crew as a baby who ventures into the regular world when he reaches full size (Nov. 7). Jack Black enters The School of Rock as a substitute teacher who starts a band with his class to win a competition. This one’s directed by, weirdly enough, Richard Linklater (Oct. 3). In what could be one hell of a team-up, the Coen brothers direct George Clooney and Catherine Zeta-Jones in Intolerable Cruelty, a comedy about a divorce attorney who falls for his client’s soon-to-be ex. Sounds good, but experience has taught us to be wary of getting too excited about the Coens’ recent output (Oct. 10). There’s also a new flick from the brothers Farrelly on the horizon, called Stuck on You, starring Matt Damon and Greg Kinnear as a pair of conjoined brothers (Dec. 12).

Woody Allen’s latest, Anything Else stars Jason Biggs and Christina Ricci, as well as Allen himself and his usual cast of thousands. Here’s hoping it improves on his last few flicks (Sept. 19). Tim Burton’s Big Fish has Albert Finney telling tall tales of his youth to son Billy Crudup; Ewan McGregor plays the younger Finney (Nov. 26). For better or for worse, there’s another Dr. Seuss adaptation hitting screens this fall: The Cat in the Hat has Mike Myers in the title role. Hilarity or blasphemy? You decide (Nov. 21).

LOCAL OFFERINGS

As always, there’s a lot more than multiplex fare to sate your cinematic desires this season. The Cinémathèque québécoise is featuring what looks to be its best schedule in years, with Herzog (in conjunction with the Goethe-Institut), Antonioni, and Polanski retrospectives—very exciting! October 9-19 sees the always interesting Festival International Nouveau Cinéma Nouveaux Medias. Fantasia fans will want to check out the fledgling, second annual Spasm sci-fi and horror fest (www.spasm.ca), running Oct. 31–Nov. 1. A little more sober will be the always worthwhile Rencontres internationales du documentaire de Montréal, Nov. 14–23. And don’t miss the one-night-only screening of Tristan Verboven’s doc Once American, Sept. 18 at the Hungarian Social Club (3483 St-Laurent), 8 p.m., free.

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