Dear Sasha: I once had to watch a particularly graphic classic anti-porn movie called Killing Me Softly in a women's studies class (I'm a woman). Wouldn't the über-serious prof have been horrified to know that I actually got some of my most-cherished fantasy material from what I saw? The movie uses carefully selected images that depict the women as completely resigned - kinda like zombies - to their "object" status, interlaced with poignant symbols of misogynist violence (the most memorable is of a woman sucking on a gun).

I was quite disturbed at the end of class because I was totally horny but was made to feel like my feelings were sick and perverse. I tried to make the point that this movie isn't representative of mainstream porn (I actually found it infinitely more exciting, perhaps because of the off-limits aspect, and the power play that you rarely see in a big-budget porno) but the teacher silenced me! She wouldn't let the class discuss our feelings at all, and likely many of us left filled with shame and confusion.

My question to you is: is it about women-hating or is it about power, pure and simple? Some might say that I've internalized my oppression. To clarify, I have fantasized about being the man, the victim and often just an observer many times over. » Powerless

Dear Powerless,
When are questions surrounding sexual politics ever simple, ever manifest? You only have to look at how different people interpret film, food and art to know that there will always be divergent attitudes towards sex. There's no one answer, only perspectives.

Here's an example: I too, sat earnestly and horny through a dismal documentary called Not a Love Story in a film studies class. Fifteen years later I had the privilege of speaking to documentary film director Lindalee Tracey (known then by her stage name Fonda Peters), the featured star of the Studio D production. To say the least, she was not pleased with the victim depiction of herself, and wrote about the experience from her own perspective in her terrific book Growing Up Naked.

My feeling when it comes to any kind of sexual representation that deals with power play is that we have a tendency to cast ourselves in certain roles, for good or bad. Since we all come to sex with acutely different needs and histories, we will all have different interpretations of similar experiences. My own understanding of this phenomenon is based in part on my personal feelings about swingers. I have been to Lifestyle events and openly treated people like they were deluded because the last thing on Earth I could ever imagine wanting to do is to screw a bunch of leathery Republicans in cheap sex-store attire. See? I'm still being judgemental about them! I can't get past it! But does my lack of belief in this as a sound sexual choice make it invalid? Of course not, and I could certainly paint a bleak picture of their life if I chose to. And I have.

How we should be sexually healthy is subject to continuous scrutiny and conjecture, but as far as I'm concerned, your professor is no better than the parasitic opportunists in the porn industry for her autocratic position. If you can get your hands on a copy of the August issue of AVN (Adult Video News), there's an amazing article about HIV in the porn industry featuring the opinions of Miss Sharon Mitchell, who runs an organization called AIM (Adult Industry Medical). One of the reasons I love Mitchell is because she not only has hands-on experience in the business, with over 2,000 films under her belt and a long-kicked heroin habit, but she offers sound and unexaggerated insights, ones that have stirred up some controversy with industry shitfuckers. Here's one, regarding a detractor, agent Jim South, "…he doesn't want me to tell them [newcomers] about chlamydia, gonorrhea, or hepatitis or the risks so he can hurry up and get two dicks in their ass to get his $75." This, combined with Mitchell's academic credentials in public health and human sexuality make her a voice of reason in all the bedlam. Find her at www.aim-med.org.

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