by SCOTT C

When it comes to funk, no allusion to the genre would be complete without the mention of the Atomic Dawg and Maggot Overlord himself, George Clinton - truly the walking, talking and breathing personification of funk. His musical accomplishments are too many to list here, as he's played an integral founding role in the formation of Parliament, Funkadelic and the P-Funk All Stars, and spawned all kinds of like-minded freaks to represent the funk eternally. One only has to listen to one of the many tumultuous funk monsters George has composed over the years to know that this man is definitely from another planet.

I was happy to learn that talking to him was just as enjoyable as listening to any of those early records, complete with funky, nonsensical mumblings. After a few failed attempts to communicate over a cell phone while in transit, I tracked George down at his hotel room in Nashville, where he was staying under the alias of Ralph Mouf.

Wingtip beginnings

"I ain't been up to Montreal since about 1991. I think there was some club up there. An R&B club called the Ebony Room or something, but it don't even matter, really. We'll play in a nursing home or a daycare centre."

Having been on and off of the road as a travelling musician since about 1965, he's not kidding. Back then, George Clinton and the Parliaments were a coiffed and tailored doo-wop outfit struggling within a sea of similar black groups trying to make it big in the U.S. It's hard to believe that the same man who, at any given time, has multiple hair colours (weaves included), an arsenal of crazy muu-muus and Dashikis, and one of the most extensive discographies of classic and influential funk bombs was also sporting canary yellow suits and wingtips, doing the mashed potato and singing sweet soul.

Actually it's not hard to believe at all, what with all the transformations and reinventions this man has gone through over his career.

"It's only the real fans who even know about the music we were making back then. I have a hard time recognizing myself in some of those old pictures. But we still throw down the exact same way, maybe even better now. We have more fans now we did back then, that's for damn sure. You couldn't even count 'em in Nashville last night, man. There were thousands and thousands of people."

Staying out of trouble

In 2003, this self-proclaimed man-with-a-suitcase has taken year-round touring up a notch by making the onstage experience a true family affair. Joining him and various members of Parliament-Funkadelic are his two sons and, amazingly, his granddaughter.

"I'm really at home on the road. Touring makes it very difficult for a lot of families to survive, but we do quite well on the road. That's all cool, but I wake up every morning and still have no idea where I am. I'm the type of person who'll roll into a brand new city and stay in the hotel room as opposed to going out and checking things out. For some reason, I'm very recognizable to people, and everybody wants to party. I can't say no, so I try to stay out of trouble. Trouble will find you - you ain't got to go lookin' for it."

While the touring rolls on and on, George attests to using his "hotel bound" existence as the main tool for writing and coming up with new songs. "I just use a little hand-held tape recorder and hum into that. That's all I need. Next day, I'll take it to rehearsal and try to work out something with the band. I do it all the time. We got some new shit coming out soon. It's called noo-wop. It's a combination of techno and doo-wop. I was trying to pull out some of those old songs with a newer twist, and this is it. It's gonna be released in a minute on One Nation Entertainment. I tried it out at a few clubs and the kids can relate it to stuff that they're used to."

Farmer Funkenstein

The future of noo-wop remains to be seen, but I was a bit worried about the bleak side of hotel life, day in and day out, and tried to suggest some sort of physical activity to take the mind outside of the body and just change up the routine.

"No, no, no. I ain't got the discipline for none of that. I used to go swimming, play paddleball and all kinds of little games at the gym, but no more. I like to be near the woods. I really like the woods. I used to hunt pheasant, rabbit, squirrel, deer, but then I developed a Bambi complex and I couldn't hunt no more. Man, I used to have an AR15, or a .222 or something. We had an assault rifle, believe it or not, and I was out there shooting like I was in the war.

"I do much better with a slingshot though. I could knock a squirrel right out the tree with the slingshot. After I fell out of a tree trying to shoot a deer, that was like a warning signal to me. Animals be laughing at me. Here comes farmer Funkenstein."

If it's hard to picture George Clinton making his way to the clearing by the treeline to reload, how about the Godfather of funk living in Toronto?

"I used to live in Toronto in '69, '70. We looked for an apartment, and found one at 401 and Don Valley Parkway, and then eventually moved to Mississauga because, like I said, I like to be close to the woods." Thank the Lord that this vet is still making it his number one priority to keep the funk alive. He seems to have become very comfortable with his musical concoctions, and so have we. Let's just hope that he blesses us with as much funk as he can before the Mothership comes back to spirit him off to another part of the galaxy.

At the Medley on Tuesday, August 26, 9PM, $20/$25

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