by JOANNE LATIMER

Ashton Kutcher, the pretty manling from That '70s Show, has gone and made another goofy movie. This one, called My Boss's Daughter, will attract legions of squealing girls, the same girls who wasted their allowance on Kutcher's last films, Just Married and Dude, Where's My Car?. This new film is also a waste of their allowance, but the real pity will be their immunity to the charms of the film's true sexpot, Terence Stamp. The British screen icon out-acts everyone and still comes off like a good sport while slumming it in a pea-brained movie.

Kutcher plays Tom, who has a low-level publishing job at Stamp's company. Tom wants to do more creative work, or so his voiceover tells us, but his true goal seems to be attracting Stamp's daughter, Lisa Taylor (Tara Reid, from American Pie fame). Innocently roped into housesitting at the Taylor's while Lisa attends a party with her boyfriend, Tom loses the family's pet owl, after mistakenly getting it high on cocaine. It's all downhill from there: a disgruntled employee (Molly Shannon) arrives with some trailer trash friends; the estranged son brokers a drug deal while stealing from the wall safe; a not-so-menacing Michael Madsen pees on the carpets; antiques get broken, and the neighbours get involved. There are some out-there gags involving a girl with a head wound who can't get a date, and a spoof on Carmen Electra emerging from a pool in a wet T-shirt.

Tom looks gobsmacked when faced with some racial slurs about Jews and blacks, but Tom always looks gobsmacked. Kutcher is wide-eyed, mouth hanging open, for the entire film. To say he has one dimension would be putting it kindly. His winces and stammers come from the one bag of acting tricks, marked "flopsweat." Director David Zucker (producer on the Naked Gun movies and Top Secret) obviously doesn't mind paying big bucks for an actor with not much more than impressively lush eyelashes.

The only thing of note in this film beside Stamp is the Canadiana - yes, there is some. The opening song is from the Bare Naked Ladies, and later someone sings "O Canada" while taking a piss on a Persian rug. Thanks, but we don't need the plug.

My Boss's Daughter opens Friday, Aug. 22

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