by CHRIS BARRY

Name: Alexis L.C. Mills

Nickname: Lexifer

Age: 32

Occupation: Interior designer for private aircraft

Bio: This tantalizing Plateau vixen had been working as a "bar wench" at Bal Saint Louis when she opted to take an aptitude test to ultimately learn she'd been born to become either a lawyer or commercial artist. The daughter of an attorney, she knew enough to recognize law was not for her, so she promptly set about studying interior design through an Emploi-Québec program, graduated with flying colours, and now makes the big bucks designing the interiors of private aircraft for various corporate zillionaires. Although she still tends bar one night a week at La Scala on Parc for sport, she says she's nothing less than thrilled with her new occupation. "It's the bee's knees, the dog's tuxedo, I absolutely love it."

Do most corporate fat cats insist that each of their planes have a bedroom suite equipped with a magic-fingers bed, leopard print walls and a Palm Pilot loaded up with the phone numbers of various escort agencies around the globe? "I haven't stumbled across this request yet, but I'm sure I will in time. Just think about the possibilities of what could go on up in those planes, the Mile High Club and stuff, just think about it."

Does she have much room to do fun, creative stuff, or must everything be relatively conservative? "lt's always about the business neutral - endless variations on beige and cream, you know. For example, I could never go with fuchsia and orange, it just wouldn't fly, no pun intended, but there's still a lot of room to be creative."

Does she sometimes feel resentful towards the people she designs for, conscious that some privileged, well-bred prick is spending more money on his jet's wallpaper than Mirror journalists earn in their entire careers? "I've seen china on planes that probably cost as much as a house. And then there are the gold-plated toilets, the expensive sheets, but no, I'm not jaded by it all yet."

What the hell kind of a tacky zillionaire wants to drop his turds into a gold-plated crapper? "I think it was a sheik who had that. But most of the planes I work on are pretty tasteful."

Has she ever considered decorating the walls of certain aircraft with murals based on images from the film Alive? Not really.

Worst part of the gig: Having to get all the way out to Dorval every morning and "smelling all the stinky people on the bus and metro. It's unbelievable. I guess some people just don't care."

Two things she plans to start doing soon: Yoga and meditation.

Where you might find her boozin': The Copacabana, Jupiter Room on Thursdays.

Last book read: Life of Pi, by Yann Martel.

Musical preferences: The new Massive Attack CD, Jean Leloup, Missy Elliott.

One film she saw recently and totally dug: Sue: Lost in Manhattan.

Words of wisdom: "And the day came when the risk it took to remain tight inside the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom."

Comments? dimwit@openface.ca