Lord love those Something Weird video distributors! My hot rental last weekend involved Axe (on DVD from Boîte Noire), a rock-bottom cheapie from the '80s about three vile, homophobic thugs who end up picking the wrong run-down rural house to torment. Our merry band of nasties begin by murdering a couple of gay men in brutal fashion. They then head off to the country, where they meet up with one young virgin who's only duty appears to be chopping wood and taking care of a comatose grandad. (She's played by Leslie Lee, whom the film's credits boast of "introducing" - funny, but I haven't heard of her since.) Said virgin seems to have a heckuva way with the axe (thus the movie's title) and ultimately these naughty henchmen get much of what they deserve. The best scenes involve her feeding grandad a hearty meal (raw eggs) and a gag at the beginning of the film involving a broken bottle of Heinz ketchup. But perhaps even better is the Something Weird anthology of clips from their catalogue, which runs at the outset of the DVD. These curators really have got great taste!

» Matthew Hays