Dear Sasha: Is it common for transexualism to run in families, specifically siblings? My brother's one (he finally came true to himself and had the final operation a few years ago), and I too have similar feelings, but in a different way. In my case, I've always chalked it up to being partially bi (on a scale of 1–10, I'm a 1.5 - took a test in Options magazine). I've even acted these feelings out sexually, and have always been attracted to shemales, but never men in particular, and lately I've been more and more curious about what it would be like as a woman having sex (I won't embarrass either of us by going into details). » Doug-Dawg
Dear Doug-Dawg,
My friend Amanda Taylor is a shemale and organizes popular shemale stripper events. "I can only speak for the small amount of transgendered people, I have dealt with," she says. "Out of about 50 of them, none have mothers or fathers who are transgendered, but there is one set of brothers who now live as transgendered people. Both dance at the shemale strip nights. Their names are Mia and Taisha." Brother/sister strippers. Seriously, how gorgeous is that?
Another friend, Josh, is a transboy who works at a queer theatre. He says this: "I haven't done any research about things like that, however, there's a great book called Trans Forming Families, which is an anthology of stories about families coming to terms with trannies in their lives. It's a bit sappy, but there might be something in there. On a personal note, I have a very strong suspicion that one of my sisters is also a tranny, but very closeted."
It may not be common, but obviously occurs. And FYI, orientation and desire in transpeople are as varied as they are in the rest of the population. Josh is a transboy who happens to be a fag. I know transwomen who are lesbians. And so on.
On that note, Josh will be moving to Montreal in the fall and I've promised to try to hook him up with the transqueer community here both socially and for work. If anyone has any suggestions, I would appreciate an e-mail.
Dear Sasha: Speaking of cruelty-free stuff, do you know anything about the way dildos and vibrators are tested? I don't want to start another Great Vegan Debate Over Nothing here, just wondering. » I Still Swallow
Dear Still,
Carol Queen, co-owner and operator of Good Vibrations, says that in regard to animal testing, "The biggest challenge wouldn't be with retailers and manufacturers themselves, but with the toy materials back down the line as they were being industrially developed." With things that have complex chemical make-ups, it's certainly possible that at some point in their development, an animal was harmed.
Your best bet - I guess the least-evil one in other words - is to buy items from independent retailers that support independent companies. Since function and material quality are prioritized at both ends, they test products on themselves and use medical-grade materials and natural dyes. "With sex toys, the general rule of thumb is: the smaller and more independent the company, the greater the likelihood that the people making the toys also use the toys," says Queen. "With large mass-production facilities, toys often seem made according to some designer's possibly fuzzy notions about sexual anatomy and response - which is why at Good Vibes the staff tests everything we carry. You should see the stuff we reject!"
Tell me about it, sister. I nearly tore my whole business end off a couple of weeks ago with a porn-star-endorsed bushwhacker. To add insult to injury, I actually had to pay the COD (Crotch of Doom?) charges on it!
Got any questions for Sasha? Write her at
465 McGill Street, 3rd floor, Montreal, Quebec, H2Y 4B4
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