by CHRIS BARRY

Name: Trevor Clements

Nickname: The Water Bottle Guy

Age: 30

Occupation: Busker

Bio: This sultry fox of a Maritimer has spent many a Canadian summer travelling around the country, living out of his van and busking on his unique drum kit made primarily from water bottles. Currently banging his bottles on the streets of Montreal yet armed with an always practical, and recently acquired, BA in philosophy, Trevor is now considering heading back East permanently, largely because an old wrist injury has made it increasingly difficult for him to busk for any length of time, and also because he feels his limited French is compromising his ability to secure a decent straight gig here.

The story behind his bum wrists: Back in the mid-'90s, Trevor thought that he might be able to bring attention to his musical gifts by breaking the Guinness world record for marathon drumming. "But they didn't want anything to do with me. Still, I did it once for a fundraiser in the Gold Cup and Saucer parade in PEI, playing for 26 hours straight, and timed it so I would break the record while riding on a float in the parade. But the parade was delayed and I had to keep playing along to this really vigorous dance music for longer than I'd planned. So my thumbs went all numb after playing for so long, and, you know, once you hurt something like that you're never the same again."

How much he might earn on a really good day: "Maybe $100 for a few hours."

Should he find himself busking in a good location but be struck with the urge to urinate, will he ever just discreetly piss in one of his water bottle drums rather than risk losing his spot or having his kit stolen? No.

Is this because he's afraid it will affect the tone? No.

Is there much competition among street performers and/or panhandlers with respect to finding primo busking locations? Sometimes. "Once in Halifax I was physically attacked by a lady in a wheelchair who was panhandling beside me. She thought she owned the place. She had one of these electric wheelchairs and kept ramming me saying I was taking all her money, really pissing me off. Just because you're in a wheelchair doesn't mean you can treat other people disrespectfully. Hey, I need to make money just the same as she does, you know? So I told her, ‘Look, if you don't stop ramming me with your wheelchair I'm going to grab your money bucket and throw it in the ocean.' It started getting pretty surreal when I actually did grab her money bucket and me and this wheelchair bitch started wrestling back and forth. But I had to do something, her wheelchair was starting to damage my [water bottle drum] kit. And how do you defend yourself from someone in a wheelchair?"

Musical preferences: Frank Zappa, Tom Waits, Zeppelin.

Last book read: Theo and Matilda, by Rachel Billington.

Words of wisdom: "If you can't accept a little insanity, then, my friend, you are truly insane.

Comments? dimwit@openface.ca