by RUPERT BOTTENBERG

Blending the schooled-fool comic brilliance of the Bloodhound Gang with the lo-fi, leftfield hip hop stylings of the Def Jux cabal, Pittsburgh, PA's Grand Buffet are a buffet of entertainment, and a grand one at that. The dynamoramic, dancerrific duo of Lord Grunge and Grape-A-Don expound most eloquently on such matters as the miracle of tobacco (their latest EP is called Cigarette Beach), horror-movie icons, beloved snack-food mascots, the biblical origins of lemonade and - as the Mirror found out in interviewing the pair - the disturbing world view of Mickey Rourke.

Mirror: I feel compelled to press you guys about what may well be the cinema experience of the summer, Freddy Vs. Jason. What are your feelings on this clash of the titans? Which of the two do you see as the potential winner?

Lord Grunge: I'll put my money on Freddy. His powers seem to be more omnipotent.

Grape-A-Don: Krueger's got it locked in the dream realm. Jason would win in a physical battle. I fear the studio will neuter the potential of this story.

M: Tell me a bit about your recent EP Cigarette Beach.

GAD: As far as units being moved, Cigarette Beach is biting at the heels of Thriller. The content of the album has brought about FBI phone taps and tobacco endorsement offers.

LG: Cigarette Beach is fucking awesome. Best shit we've done to date. I think it's our most revealing shit musically. I don't know if we'll make any new fans with it, but the heads who feel GB already will really feel it hard.

M: That leads to your forthcoming album Pittsburgh Hearts. What kind of hype, buzz, spin, torque or spiel can you dish out on this little number?

GAD: This album is as classy as Radiohead and as gritty as a retarded wolf.

LG: Pittsburgh Hearts is fucking awesome. Best shit we've done to date. I think it's our most revealing shit musically. I don't know if we'll make any new fans with it, but the heads who feel GB already will really feel it hard.

M: Noting the Michael Madsen quote on your Web site, the one claiming you guys are the best rapmetal act since GTR, I must again fall back on the who-would-win line of questioning and ask, could Madsen take Mickey Rourke? I ask because I fucking hate Mickey Rourke.

LG: You didn't just say, "I fucking hate Mickey Rourke." I know you didn't just say that, because if you had said it, the interview would be over and the show in Montreal would be cancelled. That's an intense question. I'm going to go with Rourke. No disrespect to Madsen - I mean, they're both bad-asses. I wouldn't want to piss off either one of them. But Rourke is just brutal. I mean, fucking brutal. He rapped on a David Bowie album. Plus, and I don't think people know this, his scenes in the film Double Team, with Dennis Rodman and J.C. Van Damme, weren't scripted. They weren't even originally part of the movie. He didn't even know there was a camera around. That's the way his world is.

GAD: Madsen's got it locked in the dream realm. Rourke would win in a physical battle.

With guests at Casa del Popolo tonight,
Thursday, August 7, 9pm, $8

>> Music Listings