Dear Sasha: What animal-friendly (ie. not tested on animals, nor containing animal products) condoms are available for a decent price? » S.B.

Dear S.B.,
To my prior knowledge, the only condoms that contained animal products were ones made of animals (like sheep guts or lambskin), which are also more porous than latex ones and don't protect again viruses like HIV.

Then I went on to some vegan Web sites (sigh).

Wouldn't you just know it, five years ago the vice-president of marketing at Trojan was on the phone with an ad rep who was eating a ham sandwich, so they think there might be some traces in the product. Yeah, I know, making fun of vegans is something your parents do when they don't understand something, but it's awfully hard to resist when you look at some of the distraught message boards.

Seriously though, the people at vegansociety.com write, "Although not present in the finished product, both Durex and Mates condoms utilize casein, a milk protein, during processing. Mates also use a non-fat dry milk powder. The only vegan condoms we are aware of are made by Condomi. These contain no animal byproducts, and have involved no animal testing." You can get Condomi condoms at Venez Tels Quels (5427 St-Laurent) when it opens this Saturday, July 26, at three for three bucks.

The U.K. Vegan Society also has an information sheet on contraceptives at www.vegansociety.com/html/info/info02.html, in case you want to start looking at other options.

Dear Sasha: What do you think is the appropriate response when a middle-aged woman informs you she's a virgin? (Apparently, shock and horror are not it.)

She says she has not experienced violence, but is just "saving it" for marriage. This made my gag reflex kick in. How can a sensible, educated woman think this unless she's a zealot or has a kind of sexual anorexia (i.e., denying herself her full human experience because of some questionable cultural value)?

Other female friends opine that it's a personal choice, she deserves respect and "a lot" of women don't enjoy sex anyway. Ultimately, it's none of our business, but I don't trust this woman anymore. Your thoughts? » NOT a Self-Denial Superhero

Dear NOT,
I don't know how sensible and educated people can be anything but people who - whether they choose to practice it or not - believe in polyamoury. But those who don't not only exist, they exist in astonishing diversity.

I have a friend who is a celibate Baptist who happens to be celibate because he's gay and, as a Baptist, he can't be a sexually active homosexual. This is a fairly recent change in his life and, although he has stopped having sex, he hasn't lost his sense of humour (a seemingly impossible task) and desire to be around people who choose to live a much different life than his.

I asked my friend his thoughts on the matter, and he said this: "Speaking personally, I used to find it pretty offensive that people would allow themselves to be brainwashed into giving up their sexual freedom. Little did I know what was around the corner for me. As for how I feel about it when I get a strong reaction from somebody, it's not a big deal for me. I can relate to where they're coming from because I've been there myself. That won't quite be the case for your middle-aged virgin, but I imagine she has learned to live with it when a few people raise their eyebrows - or perhaps even when an otherwise interesting gentleman raises his voice."

Look inward to some of the things in your personality that may be contradictory. Bet you there are a few.

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