by RAF KATIGBAK

How a Fantasia diary turned into diarrhoea: I'm sad because not only did I not make it to µ-ziq, I didn't make it to Squarepusher either. But I really only have myself to blame. Well, myself and a certain uncooked chicken pita. Let me explain.

When I was six, I had Coke-bottle glasses, ill-fitting slacks and I played with Transformers. In short, I was a geek. While some may argue that playing with Transformers doesn't necessarily make one a geek, I would argue that the ability to retain the fact that Scourge was the only Deceptacon to ever internally hold the Matrix of Leadership does. Although I may not be fluent in Klingon and I have yet to quote Yoda in a debate (okay, so it happened once), I have been known to roll a few 24-sided dice in my time. You can understand why I leapt at the chance at doing this year's Fantasia diary (see Film section). Little did I know that a visit to the coolest film fest in town would also have me punishing the porcelain for three days straight, effectively killing my party-filled weekend. But truth be told, I suppose I was asking for trouble (just not that kind of trouble). Rule number one: never go out to a film fest and watch six hours of anime, zombie and kung-fu films in a row. That alone will make you pretty sick. Rule number two: if you run out to grab a bite between shows, don't tell the guy that you're in a rush, because he probably won't cook your food long enough, effectively rendering you really-really-really sick. Rule number three: in case you didn't follow the first two rules, drink lots of water, eat lots of bananas and hope that it all just goes away.

Even though I did not make it out to the clash of the bedroom nerd titans, between my grunts of pain I heard that they were both great shows. David Kristian, who I saw at the screening of Undead, apparently blew everybody away with a set that built up from beginning to end, effectively whipping the crowd into a frenzy that µ-ziq made an admirable attempt at handling. While I was busy shish-ing my taouk, Luke Vibert was busy selecting sick tracks and mashing things up on the fly. Squarepusher, I heard, was a little too loud and not crazy enough for some, but also amazingly talented and exactly what was expected for others - guess you can't please everyone. All in all, two solid nights of experimental techno (and three nights where the word "solid" was only a pipe dream for me). Oh well, I guess I'll just wait 'til next time two techno legends like that come to town… d'oh!

This Saturday, July 26, make sure to come out to the always rockin' electro-alt-pop monthly Razzmatazz where resident DJs Radiowhore and Amyl Nitrate will no doubt keep the dancefloor rockin'. As usual it all goes down at Missy Bar starting at 10 p.m. and it's free!

Speaking of electro-ish stuff, after straight killing shit in Toronto, it looks like local female 'lectro rockers Lesbians on Ecstasy are taking their high-energy hardcore renditions of Indigo Girls south of the border for a couple of shows in NYC (with one show at electroclash headquarters Luxx). Check 'em out here at home at this year's Pride show on August 3.

A normal person wouldn't steal pituitaries! Diskoakimbo@sympatico.ca

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