Dear Sasha: My boyfriend and I are experiencing some problems with anal sex. I am more than willing to try, but I always tense up when he tries to stimulate me manually. I just can’t get used to the feeling. My boyfriend is being a real gent about this, but I don’t want to quit trying just yet. » A. Curious

Dear A.,
You may want to begin by purchasing yourself a very small butt plug. There is a model called the Little Flirt available through various online sex stores (www.comeasyouare.com being one), which is three inches long and about half an inch wide at the base. Many butt plugs have slender, smooth tips, too, which makes insertion much easier, especially when accompanied by a generous dollop of lube. Sometimes people tense up during anal play because they don’t like the idea of their partner’s digits going in there and coming out looking like a chocolate dipped cone. Perhaps experimenting on your own at first will help you relax.

If you simply don’t like the feeling and you’re still interested in anal sex, why not flip your lad over and give it a try that way?

Come As You Are is having its grand opening in Montreal on July 26 (5427 St-Laurent), where you will be able to purchase the Little Flirt along with all their other terrific products. The long laboured over French name? Venez Tels Quels.

Dear Sasha: I’m a freelance writer, specializing in erotica, and I found this paragraph in one of your old columns while trying to find out some info on porn novellas:

"I also had a nice chat with David at Star Distributors. Star pays $250 (U.S.) per novel. Send an SASE to Box 362, Canal St. Station, New York, N.Y., 10013, Attention David, and he’ll send you the guidelines." Do you know if Star Distributors still exists? I’ve found a Web site for them (www.starmags.com), but the contact e-mail addresses don’t seem to work. » Stephen

Dear Stephen,
Yes they do, and I have spent a few weeks trying to get a hold of David. Perhaps lewd fiction is making a comeback and David can afford to take long, indulgent lunch breaks with supermodels. Their toll-free number is 1-800-824-0003 if you want to try reaching him yourself.

On a more directly resourceful front, I found what appears to be a great book by Susie Bright called How to Write a Dirty Story (widely available online). I gave it all but quick gander, although I know that Bright has been editing, writing and publishing erotica for at least 10 or 15 years now, with some obvious success (always looking very happy and well-fed, put it that way). She cuts to the chase in her smut and sexual politics; I would expect she does the same when tackling the business side of things too.

PAYPAL’S TWISTED MORALITY

Toronto-based dildo artisan the Kinkycobbler (www.kinkycobbler.com) got quite a shock the other day when he found out that online payment system Paypal instituted policies whereby consensual adults can no longer purchase "adult" or "sexually oriented" material using their services. Paypal, which he uses to process online payments, apparently made him aware of this through e-mail some months ago, but as he says, "Guess it pays to read your spam."

This sucks, and one of the reasons it really sucks is because, as the Kinkycobbler informed me, if you go on eBay in their general (all ages) audiences category and enter the search word "guns", you’ll find 4,135 items classified as guns. "To be more specific I entered "fire arms" and found 17 items, 472 rifle-related items, 78 handgun-related items, 98 stun guns, nine firing pins, 635 hunting knives, 31 switch blades, and 14 commando knives." eBay owns Paypal, and you can use Paypal when purchasing the above items. Can you stand the hypocrisy?

Do you want to support a Canadian businessperson who’s not just dicking around? Sign his petition to boycott Paypal here: www.PetitionOnline.com/nopaypal/.

Got any questions for Sasha? Write her at
465 McGill Street, 3rd floor, Montreal, Quebec, H2Y 4B4
Fax: 393-3173
e-mail: pouledeluxe@yahoo.com