Dear Sasha: My wife and I and another woman friend had a threesome for the first time for all involved. Two days later my wife began itching in her vagina. Four days after the act: full-blown yeast infection. Do threesomes often do that? » Anonym Jim

Dear AJ,
They can, if someone has a yeast infection to hand out to the other guests. Here’s some feedback from sexual-health educator Lyba Spring, “Some women think they have a yeast infection, but it could be a number of other problems like trich or BV. If she’s had yeast before and recognized the symptoms, okay. Otherwise, it would be a good idea for her to have a professional take a look.”

Spring also asks about your condom use. Did you use them with both women just for continuity’s sake? “Maybe he and his wife don’t usually use condoms, but he used one with the friend and then with his wife,” she says. “Maybe the lubricant had glycerin in it, provoking a yeast infection. Maybe they used a dental dam and the wife initially got itchy from a reaction to latex.” That’s a whole lot of maybes. Sounds like it’s time for a trip to the gyno.

Dear Sasha: I recently met a girl and got engaged to her. We are pretty close to getting married. One night long ago (the only night) we got intimate and I noticed in the dark what appeared to be her inner pussy lips (I am totally turned off by pussy lips). I did not make a big deal out of it, but six months later I pressed her to tell me about my observation. She confessed it was her pussy lips. Upon further questioning she told me that her lips appeared soon after her first boyfriend broke off with her, which was five years ago. She claims that she hasn’t had sex since then. She also told me that he had quite a large penis. They were only dating for five months.

I also noticed that she had an unusually loose pussy, in fact the loosest I have ever had. In my mind I think she has been active and on frequent occasions been at it with a large-sized boy. I am even worried that she might have been doing it more than she could have handled. We are far apart from each other so I don’t know what she has been up to or what might be the cause of her pussy lips and her looseness. Please help and put my mind at ease. » Naseem

Dear Naseem,
I’m not going to lie to you, this question is really offensive for several reasons. But it merits an answer because, judging by some of the mail I get, a lot of guys walk around thinking this way. I think it makes them carping and censorious towards women, who in turn walk around filled with remorse.

First off, if regular rubbing, yanking and friction caused genitals to enlarge, don’t you think your genitalia (which you appear to have used on more than one occasion) would have gotten bigger as well? In relation to this, why are you so easygoing about divulging your own sexual activities while your fiancée’s are subject to the third degree?

Women’s vaginas do stretch to accommodate what goes in and what comes out of them, but they’re chock-full of muscles, and those muscles rebound. I’ve read about women’s bits changing after childbirth, where the vagina loosens (and subsequently can be altered through exercise or surgery) or the clitoris enlarges during pregnancy and remains enlarged, but really, every vagina is different in some way or another. Some women simply have inner labia like Farrah Fawcett’s hair in the ’70s, some, even without lots of stretching activity, have more generous canals than others. Sorry to tell you, but penises just aren’t that influential. They are minor toil compared to a baby.

Nobody needs to be interrogated about their genitals unless there are great pussing lesions on them that they refuse to acknowledge. Genitals are not felonies. As such, I’m going to implore you to reconsider marrying a woman if you find pussies so revolting. Seriously, would you tolerate this kind of judgement towards your parts?

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