by CHRIS BARRY

Name: David Sloniegura

Age: 35

Occupation: Personal fitness trainer

Bio: This 5-foot-ll, 200-pound Hochelaga-Maisonneuve stud was looking to study physics at Concordia when one of his old camp counsellors suggested that he go into exercise science instead, a brilliant idea which David chose to pursue with a passion not seen since the heyday of Jack La Lanne. These days, this former paperboy and dépanneur clerk works out of both La Sanctuaire and Rock gyms, and is the star and producer of Abnatomy, his own fitness video.

Does he spend a lot of time in front of the mirror admiring his physique, going “Goddamn, I’m one motherfucker of a heavy-looking dude”? “Well, when you’re working out you kind of get into that mindset. But I don’t look at my body in the mirror as if it were me, I’m more detached than that. I’m just looking for the results of what I’ve been working on.”

Are steroids an important part of his fitness training program? No. “People think I’m on them. But it’s not true.”

Do jealous or lovelorn gym patrons ever follow him into the locker room to see if he has the muscle where it really counts, or to determine whether the steroids they suspect he might be taking have shrunk his Jolly Roger down to nothing? “Not really, most of my clients are like me, shy and reserved. And I never go into the locker room with them, that would be unprofessional.”

Best part of the gig: Watching his clients achieve their fitness goals.

Worst: Watching his clients give up on their fitness goals.

Something else he is doing: Making another fitness video, this one more butt-related. “Butt issues are a big concern for many people in the video market. This one will focus more on the lower body.”

Where you can buy his fitness videos: www.fitnessdavid.com.

Are there any elements of Somersizing in his video productions? No. “I wanted to do something that was an extension of what I do—that wasn’t influenced by anything else—and Abnatomy is just kind of what came out.”

Would it hurt his feelings to learn that some people might only buy his butt video so they can masturbate to it? No. “It is what it is. I don’t think this is a bad thing. Actually, I would be complimented to learn people were doing that.”

Does he ever personally masturbate to his own fitness videos? No.

Does he drink? No.

Get high? No.

Childhood ambition: To become an Olympic gymnast.

Current ambition: To see the fitness show he is working on find a home on television.

Last book read: Exercise for Older Adults: ACE’s Guide for Fitness Professionals, edited by Richard T. Cotton.

Musical preferences: “Whatever makes me move, from house to Ozzy.”

A film he saw recently and kind of liked: Mambo Italiano.

Words of wisdom: “Whatever happens in life, don’t allow yourself to become jaded.”

Comments? dimwit@openface.ca