You’d think a 52-year-old man riding a bicycle in a thong would be bad enough. In fact, you’d wonder how it could get any worse. For San Antonio, Texas, thong-wearing-cyclist Joseph Gottschalk, there was a way. Apparently feeling too restrained, Gottschalk went for something a little more liberating. He cast off his cloying thong and donned a bag, covering only his genitals. Unfettered, he went for a spin. After receiving "numerous complaints" of a naked man on a bicycle, police set out to investigate. What they found was not pretty. "He sat off of the bike seat," explained the arresting officer, "and exposed his anus to the vehicles behind him."

By the time police caught up with Gottschalk, he was flashing his anus nine miles from his home. Under San Antonio law, anuses cannot be publicly displayed. Gottchalk was taken into custody, his bail set at a paltry $100.

» Scott Saxon