by NOEMI LOPINTO

Somewhere in Dorval live a couple with two kids. They play soccer together, do homework and go on field trips with their school. They have the support of their families, their church, and, when Pride comes to Montreal, this gay couple will be at home playing with their foster sons, aged 12 and 13.

Colleen and Caroline (they requested the Mirror use pseudonyms to protect their children) are a part of a new outreach program by the Batshaw Family and Youth Centre’s foster care department. Leigh Johnston and Rena Rubin, of Batshaw’s child and family services, are actively seeking gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgendered homes for their kids. The way they see it, the GLBT community is full of untapped resources.

"We never discriminated against different lifestyles," says Rubin. "But we have never before made such a pro-active attempt to recruit." They have Batshaw management’s full support, which includes sensitivity training for staff, and they will have an information booth during this year’s Pride celebrations.

Batshaw oversees approximately 550 kids in 350 foster homes, and there are always new cases of abuse. There are 25 to 30 children needing homes year round. Once a child’s security or development is defined as being "at risk" under Article 38 of the Youth Protection Act, social workers, and sometimes police, have to act quickly. Children can be removed and placed in group homes, foster care or what is called a "campus-based setting." Basically, in an institution. And there they stay.

Children, Batshaw’s philosophy goes, are best brought up in their families, but that isn’t always possible. Rubin worries about the kids in group homes. "The longer they wait, the more they lose hope," she says. "I hate telling kids I don’t have a home for them."

Finding acceptable adults can be problematic. Candidates are put through a three- to six-month evaluation process, which includes filling out an application form, a complete reference check, employer’s letters, a financial evaluation, counselling and a psychosocial evaluation. Foster parents can be single, working or low income, although upon acceptance, financial aid is provided.

"We are looking for emotional and psychological stability," Rubin says. "Someone who can tolerate another person’s pain. We don’t have any cherubs. We have kids with baggage."

Queer beginnings

There are currently seven children placed in openly gay homes in Montreal. By the time Colleen and Caroline’s sons came to live with them, they had been in a group home for a year. The brothers’ biological parents had been physically abusive and neglectful. The boys manifested their pain through aggression, self-mutilation and a lot of school problems. The two new parents say they have a lot of patience.

"We were very involved right away," says Colleen. "They caught on to that quickly. We have been very conscientious from the beginning, stating where we wanted to be as a family, how we would be conducting ourselves within the home. Number one was respect for each other. There are still moments when they fly off the handle, but for the most part they understand that they are safe here. No one will be abusing them."

Caroline says their younger child still has attachment issues, but has made progress. "He has picked himself up from being a shy young guy, very anti-social, to being able to have a conversation and look at adults," she says. "The changes are fantastic. I would definitely say for anyone considering fostering, a good parent is a good parent regardless of sexuality."

Batshaw’s pamphlets have to be re-vamped in time for Pride, because it still features a picture of a man, a woman and a dog on the cover. Rubin claims her gay colleagues have been very helpful in helping them orient their questions and their campaign.

"We have to do the same sensitization process internally," says Rubin, "because homophobia exists, and we are no different than the bigger world out there. But who better to help a child than someone who has faced adversity? It’s not better to leave a child in a group home, or sleeping on a couch. I believe there are many people out there who don’t know we are open to them. Twenty years ago, the idea of single and working parents were risqué. Society has evolved and as it does, so do we."