Inarguably, it was a lousy poem. Had it not been attached to a stolen goat found tied to a downtown Waukesha, Wisconsin, lamppost, even these taunting words to police would have gone unnoticed: "I stole a goat you fuckin' cops. I stole a goat and dropped it on this block. Let it run, let it play. Waukesha cops are really gay. It's just a goat, be glad of that, next time a person be sure of that." On its reverse was a sketch of a one-bedroom apartment. Waukesha police have been showing the sketch to area landlords, but admit that, "This is what we call ‘slim evidence.'"

The black and white pygmy goat has not been reported stolen, and remains unclaimed. While the stolen goat wasn't one of hers, the owner of a nearby goat farm was not surprised to hear of the incident.

"People seem to think goats are funny," she said. "I'm not really sure why."

» Scott Saxon