by RAF KATIGBAK

It's said that it's better to know some of the questions than all of the answers. But as I see it, the only really important question you should be asking yourself is, "Where were you on Sunday night?" If your answer was anything other than Bleu Nuit at the Kamasutra strip club, then you were nowhere.

What? You said you were out partying with ultra-hot supermodels and did rails of pure Columbian in a golden jet while your all-time favourite band played a private concert just for you at 40, 000 feet above the Earth? Booooooring. What? You then landed in Asia and levitated at the peak of a mountain and reached the 10th level of Nirvana? Snore. If you wanted real next level-ness, you shoulda been at Bleu Nuit. Big ups to DJ Bliss and Plastik Patrik for destroying the dancefloor (bonus points to Patrik for rockin' the mic and his use of the word "boobies"). The real show started around 1 a.m. when a select few of the hipper-than-thou crowd worked up the balls (and boobies) to get on stage and strut their stuff. But for all the faux-hawked hipsters and lascivious lipstick lesbians that dared to bare all, the shiny chrome crossbar belonged to one person and one person alone: Paul Spence (aka Kid Calgary, aka "that dude with one ball from Fubar"). Sure, the kids showed some skin and put on a good show, but only Spence's impromptu choreography was of the roof-bringing-down variety. With the panache of a true burlesque entertainer, he pranced and whirled about, the sounds of AC/DC's "You Shook Me All Night Long" barely audible over the screaming crowd. Spence proved he was the master of the stage, that he owned that pole (extra points for his grand finale when he dangled and finally fell from the crossbar on time with the last beat of the song). "If there's one thing I learned from getting naked as a street performer," said an out-of-breath Spence immediately following his earth-shattering performance, "it's to always take your socks off first." A true entertainer among entertainers and a magical night not soon forgotten, props go out to promoters Murad and Bob for bringing on the debauch (every promoter in the city should be taking notes on these guys, BTW).

Another magical Sunday is about to happen this weekend as Mutek hosts a special blowout bash featuring the Emerson Lake & Palmer of minimal techno, at le Studio, 9 p.m., $25. Narod Niki is a techno supergroup featuring eight artists from six countries performing together live (Ricardo Villalobos, Thomas Franzman (Dimbiman), Dandy Jack, Cabanne, Akufen, Luciano, Richie Hawtin and Dan Bell). Insane!

Next Wednesday, June 4, make sure to drop by Saphir for a supergroup of a different kind as the SARS and Stripes Tour hits Flexout. DJ Shit, MC Squared, MC Sars, Miss Matches and a host of other musical misfits join forces to bring the noise, 2-step, pop and drill & bass inna mash-up style! Don't miss it! Seeeeelectah!

Disko Akimbo Mutek contest! The first person who e-mails me with the country of origin of the name "Narod Niki" will win a double pass to the show (hint: check www.mutek.com). The third person who e-mails me with Richie Hawtin's country of origin will win a double pass to the Plus8/Minus showcase on Friday night. Bling!

What if this wasn't a hypothetical question? Diskoakimbo@sympatico.ca

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