Jeff Theisen stood in his pajamas, shoeless, watching his house go up in flames under the grey sky of a Louisiana dawn. A crowd gathered to watch with him, their eyes full of fascination and sympathy. Firefighters turned their hoses on the blaze, and suddenly Theisen found himself needing to pee. Badly needing to pee. He ducked behind an oak tree in his backyard and went to it. Before he had shaken, a cop interrupted and told him he was under arrest for lewd conduct

"I tried to tell him, 'Sir, my bathroom is burning,'" Theisen said. "But he didn't seem to care." Theisen was allowed to pull up his pants, and then he was cuffed. Lt. Gary Gremillion, who was at the scene, says that Theisen was as good as waving his privates at a crowd of onlookers. "I felt sorry for him and apologized," Gremillion says, "but it was the appropriate thing to do."

» Scott Saxon