M Hey, this is Roger from Kops Krew responding to the rant left about us last week. Sweetie, judge the art by the art and the music by the music. The artists have absolutely NO OBLIGATION towards you. I think you would find that if you judged all art and music based on the character of the artist there wouldn't be such a thing as good art anymore. I left you my name, next time leave me yours. And maybe I like having my head stuck up my ass. Come by Blue Dog on Sunday night and we can talk about all this stuff and maybe I can pull the pole out from your ass. And thanks for the free promo. [BLEEP!]

M Yeah, wuz up, this is Maysr from the Kops Krew. So apparently me and all my friends are the biggest EGOTISTICAL players on earth. Thanks a lot. As far as the player thing goes, you obviously don't know what you're talking about 'cuz all of us - except me - have girlfriends or are too busy doing their own thing to be bothered by girls in the first place. And with the whole egotistical thing, maybe you've got an ego that's a bit too big for your own good, seeing that you seem to think you can pass judgement on some 30 odd people that you don't even know. You also say that you want a chance for us to pull our heads out of our asses. Well, we've got a free night every Sunday at the Blue Dog and you can come in and pull each of our heads out of our asses one by one. 'Cuz 50 per cent of the bar is all Kops Krew. So yeah, come on down, it will be nice to have you. I would put you down on the guest list as Stuck Up Bitch, but you know, it's already free to get in. But I will buy you a drink. Peace. [BLEEP!]

M Anyone who knows anything about the Kops Krew knows that they are just a bunch of mixed up rich kids who like to FINGER PAINT. Thank you very much. [BLEEP!]

F For the girl ranting last week about the Kops Krew. I have one thing to say to you, honey. Don't hate the player, hate the game. [BLEEP!]

M Hello, this is Abra and Ir-relevant from the Kops Krew, calling in response to the girl who called in that rant about us last week. We appreciate your insight and actually, we are looking for a roommate right now and you seem perfect. Talk to you later. [BLEEP!]

M This is for all those LAZY MUSICIANS out there who think they can just go on welfare and not work. What the hell is that shit? What, are you too fucking brilliant to work? That's why all the social programs - like welfare - failed in the States, because people just took advantage of it. All these guys do is hang out at cafés and just try and pick up 18-year-old girls all day. Maybe if you got a job you would be motivated enough to write a half-decent tune. Anyway, later, losers. [BLEEP!]

F So marijuana was born on April 20 was it, asshole? Where did you come up with that information, you fucking fool? So you're telling me that you know for a fact that marijuana first appeared on the Earth on that day, April 20. How could anybody ever know that? Jesus Christ, people like you really piss me off! I'm outa here. [BLEEP!]

M For the guy who said that April 20 was marijuana's birthday. This is just to remind him that marijuana does not actually have a birthday. And the only person who is celebrating a birthday on that day who is anyway famous would be Adolf Hitler. [BLEEP!]

F Hi, this is for the Fat Nazi Whore. First of all, nobody threatened to rape or murder you. That's just completely stupid and did not happen. Second of all, I was sitting at a bar about a month ago and there were five or six of us girls there and everyone of us had been BEATEN UP by you at one time or another. So if that's what you call freedom of opinion you're a total moron. And third of all, you said that you guys were outnumbered five to one at the Jacques Cartier Pub. Well, it's about time, because usually you guys travel around in large packs and beat up on one single little kid walking down the street. So it was about time. [BLEEP!]

F This goes out to the knife-carrying butch dyke. Don't you go knocking Magnolia - there are plenty of girls to be had there and they're not all coupled up. I think you should just stick with the nasty lesbians wearing mustard-coloured FLEECE at Drugstore because they sound more your type. [BLEEP!]

F Hi, there was somebody last week wanting to know if President's Choice brand had anything to do with George Bush. It's named that because all the products are approved by the president of the company owning Loblaws. It's a great product with GOOD VALUE and I don't think anybody should ever boycott it because of this idiot's crazy theory. Peace out. [BLEEP!]

Next week: Open forum