by RAF KATIGBAK

Right now Montreal's Misstress Barbara, world-renowned purveyor of "funky, drummy techno," is hotter than ever, getting massive respect in the make-it-or-break-it world of the British dance-music press for her Misstress Barbara Vs. Barbara Brown EP. You can add to that a recently released and already critically acclaimed mix CD White Is Pure 2 under her pseudonym Barbara Brown, exploring her heretofore largely hidden house side, on her own label/booking empire Iturnem. The mix CD is released to coincide with the ninth Bal en Blanc going down this weekend. The Mirror chased down the Misstress at her London flat (she's only in Montreal about eight days a month at this point), where she was battling a bug brought on by her exhausting schedule.

Mirror: Some people think you're a pretty tough cookie.

Misstress Barbara: I don't think I'm a tough cookie. The people who say I am are the ones who, when I e-mail them to ask a question, a month later I haven't gotten a reply, and then always expect me to give them stuff right away. If they say I'm a tough cookie, it's because they're sloppy. But in this industry they're all sloppy. I'm just professional.

M: I heard you were in Air Cadets for eight years. Why doesn't that surprise me?

MB: I was in high school and at one point there was this kiosk promoting the Air Cadets. I've got a curious personality, I'm into anything that's different. I thought having a pilot's licence at 16 was pretty hot, plus I always had a weakness for uniforms.

M: I imagine you did pretty well.

MB: Yeah, I made it up the ranks pretty fast. Eventually I had over 100 cadets under my command.

M: Did you ever order any code-reds or get all Full Metal Jacket on their asses?

MB: I was very strict, but I wasn't mean to those who did their stuff right. But the people who didn't do stuff right would get on my nerves and I would give them shit, but I wouldn't enjoy it. It's what gave me a straight head and gave me the sense of discipline I've got now.

M: You strike me as someone who doesn't just order a meal at a restaurant but someone who orchestrates it. Y'know - potato, no skin. Eggs, but whites only. Salad, dressing on the side, tomatoes, sliced in half circles and so on.

MB: Well, I do think I'm compulsive. I remember in January when I arrived in Australia I was so tired and jetlagged so I decided to hit the pool. I was half a zombie and half tipsy. Then I pulled out all my creams, one number 15, one number 4, number 8 and number 2, and started playing with them. My friends were talking and I wasn't really listening and then my friend said, "Barb, look what you're doing! You are compulsive!" and I was like, "What!" Then I saw that I had arranged all my creams from the tallest to the smallest and I realised, oh my God! It's true! I'm a freak!

With Roger Sanchez, Junior Vasquez,
Armin Van Buuren and more at the ninth
Bal en Blanc at Palais des Congrès on
Sunday, April 20, 9:30pm, $85

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