by RAF KATIGBAK

How often has this happened to you? You're at a bumpin' house party and the music's rockin'. Suddenly, Robert Palmer's "Addicted to Love" comes on and everyone breaks out into song. In a drunken stupor you join in and start singing. As soon as it hits the chorus you belt out the lyrics with all your heart, as if that very song was written just for you for that exact moment. All of a sudden the needle goes fzzzzip and everyone is staring at you. Your best friend comes over and says, "Umm, did you just say, ‘You're gonna have to face it, you're a dick with a glove?!'" To which you reply, "Of course! Didn't he write that song about Michael Jackson in the '80s?"

Misheard song lyrics are one of the most common forms of public embarrassment in Quebec (next to jester hats). Somehow deep inside we knew that Madonna wasn't living in a "Cheerio World" and that Corey Hart wasn't recklessly ignoring the dangers of aspartame when he sang "Don't be afraid of the diet 7-up" in "Sunglasses at Night," but for some reason we kept on singing it that way. Maybe it was because we wanted to believe Corey was so badass, but probably it was because we just didn't know any better. I remember when my sister would pretend to slap my little brother around in the kitchen while singing Sheena Easton's "Strut." "Slut! Pow! Cut it out!" she sang, oblivious to the howling error she had made. The image has been burned into my mind forever. I still wake up in a cold sweat every now and then screaming, "No, dummy! It's ‘Strut! Pout! Put it out!' Geeez!"

Speaking of strut, everyone knows the hot ticket in town tonight is the Strut Magazine launch party at the Rialto. On hand will be a veritable who's-who of local superstars - DJs Tiga, Akufen and Krista, and shit-hot mega-hype band the Stills. Tickets are $10 at the door. I've got a free pass for two for the first person (before 5 p.m.) that e-mail's me the true Madonna song title of this week's column! Hop to it!

Also tonight, Montreal DJ Milton Clark (remember the rave-bus meeting corner?) will be guesting at la Mafia Électronique where he'll join residents Seko and Nathan Burns. Cover is $3 at the door, includes a free shooter!

This Wednesday, April 16, will be hoppin' with several to-dos on the list. Remember Jai's Chill Tuesdays? Well, the Fly crew are back this Wednesday at B'bops to relive the magic. On hand will be DJs Miguel Graca and Mike Casali. Two for one drinks before midnight so get there early! Also on Wednesday, drop by Saphir's Broken night for a very special engagement with L.A.'s breakbeat brainchild Kemek the Dope Computer.

In Da Jungle is on once again this Saturday, April 12, featuring DJ Galaksy (Montreal) vs. DJ Galaxy (Toronto) and the usual residents. Call 401-6774 for details.

Sunday catch my man the World Provider as he opens up (alongside the excellent lo-fi synth project the Unicorns) for Austin, Texas's Daniel Johnston at la Sala Rossa. Tix are $10 in advance, $12 at the door.

Don't forget, Mr. Derrick Carter will be down at Aria to wish that crew a happy anniversary this Saturday!

"'Scuse me while I kiss this guy!" (Jimi Hendrix) Diskoakimbo@sympatico.ca

>> Music Listings