by CHRIS BARRY

Name: Stevie Mair

Nickname: Stevie Ramone

Age: 39

Occupation: Stage crew chief and occasional DOP at MusiquePlus

Bio: This legendarily well-hung South Shore resident had been working as a truck driver before complications with his lower back knocked him out of the transportation industry for good in the late 1980s. A gifted drummer who had sidelined as lighting guy for many a local punk rock band in his youth, Stevie jumped straight back into the music biz and promptly landed a gig as apprentice lighting director at Metropolis. His legend as a first class LD and gifted gear humper/roadie grew quickly and after a few years of slugging it out at Metropolis and various freelance gigs, he eventually scored his current job at MusiquePlus. He drives a 1986 Mercury Cougar.

Does he ever inform teenage chicks lined up outside to see artists like the Backstreet Boys or Paul Piché that he might be able to hook them up, you know, if they wanna do a little something for him, maybe in the bathroom backstage? Not exactly, but he has been offered upwards of $200 for his all-access pass by teenagers eager to get up close and personal with some of their fave vedettes.

Are a band's crew and their attitude good indicators of how cool or uncool an artist generally is? No. "Sometimes you get totally cool artists with completely uncool crews. Usually the most uncool artists - the biggest assholes - are these young, one-hit-wonder types, and yeah, that sometimes rubs off on their crews as well."

The coolest rock star he's worked with at MusiquePlus: "David Bowie, no question about it. Him, his crew, they were all really easygoing and having such a good time that they ended up playing all of these old, rare Bowie tunes for close to two hours in sound check."

Was Bowie's finest single ever, "The Laughing Gnome," included in this impromptu jam session? Stevie doesn't think so.

Does he sometimes feel like a performing seal when people station themselves outside the MusiquePlus windows, looking in from the street and watching him work? "More like a goldfish, actually. Sometimes you're in the studio and it's really quiet and you look out the windows and see all of these people staring at you rolling cable or something. I guess some people are pretty bored."

Do street crazies ever stand outside the MusiquePlus windows discreetly masturbating over the throngs of totally heavy chicks who work at the joint? Not so much.

Happiest moment at MusiquePlus: Going to Woodstock 99 and being given a camera to go shooting all the nudity on display.

Where he hangs out: Foufs.

Hobbies: Drinking.

Favourite alcoholic beverage: Double rum and cokes.

Last book read: Billion Dollar Baby, by Bob Greene.

Musical preferences: NY Dolls, Ramones, Buzzcocks, the Clash.

Television preferences: The Simpsons, South Park.

Favourite film ever: Kiss Meets the Phantom of the Park. "It's so terrible you can't turn it off."

Words of wisdom: "Here today, gone tomorrow."

Comments? dimwit@openface.ca