by KRISTIAN GRAVENOR

• If you're an anglo bored by provincial politics, consider yourself typical in the estimation of Brock U poli-sci prof Garth Stevenson, who detailed anglo political patterns recently in his 360-page book, Community Besieged: The Anglophone Minority and the Politics of Quebec. The NDG-raised Quebec expert says our English-speaking population has long been devastated by its tendency to ignore provincial politics.

"Federal politics seemed more relevant. But provincial politics, with its control over health and education, has made it more important to people - in all provinces - than it was a generation ago. Also, anglos feel powerless in provincial politics and therefore conclude it's not worth the effort," he says. Stevenson is unimpressed with the anglo demerger fetish and predicts a PQ victory largely because the francophones haven't warmed to Jean Charest, but not because John from Sherbrooke is perceived as English. "The problem isn't his ethnicity, it's that he's perceived as having spent too much time in Ottawa."

• Curious about David Fennario's candidacy? "So am I," quips the playwright running for the left-of-centre UFP in Westmount-St-Louis.

"Remember when banks didn't charge you for services?" he asks before explaining his plan to blast the stupendous $100-billion provincial debt, which is to tax banks. He hastens to add that the UFP espouses anti-globalization solidarity, not separatism. "I believe in the right to self-determination for Quebec and for natives but I'm not a separatist," he says.

Fennario calls his candidacy "the shock and awe campaign. We're going to liberate Westmount by taking their wealth," he suggests. Fennario, who calls Mario Dumont "yuppie scum," won't campaign door-to-door because health problems have confined him to a wheelchair.

• Former Montreal Urban Community chairperson Vera Danyluk has become the Lily St-Cyr of local politics - all tease, no action. Firstly, Danyluk dithered about running for mayor and more recently has mused about running for the ADQ. But now that Super Mario has hit the skids, Danyluk is said to be waiting for a federal appointment to head the Canadian Crime Prevention Bureau.

• Another anglo politician we won't have to kick around anymore is PQ vet David Payne. The British-born former religion student, who came here via Belgium, was the sole anglo PQ MNA, but he quit after a term in which he was snubbed by Landry from cabinet. Payne also had a drunk driving affair last year that might have played a part in his decision to move on, leaving the number of anglo separatists running this time around at approximately zero.

• Natty Daniel Turp is trying to return the Plateau to the PQ. The amiable and slitheringly sexy law prof with an unfortunate taste for bow ties will try to reclaim the Mercier PQ stronghold that surprisingly fell into the hands of the Liberals in a recent byelection, thanks to vote-splitting by Paul Cliche's UFP. Turp, who once wrote a book that featured an S&M-type photo of a woman bound (to symbolize Quebec, get it?) was so disturbed by federal domination that he tried and failed to lead the federal Bloc Québécois.

Turp be warned: Mercier - the home of former FLQ terrorist Ray Villeneuve - is the Bermuda triangle for PQ wannabes. Nine years ago the PQ brass tried to parachute labour lawyer Giuseppe Sciortino (who remains a close confidante of the premier), but the grassroots opted for white-boy Robert Perreault, who later withstood an in-house challenge by separatist firebrand Josée Legault. After Perreault quit, Yves Michaud, now 73, sought the PQ Mercier nomination. Michaud - who once saved René Lévesque's ass by testifying that the premier was sober the night he ran over and killed a war vet in February 1977 - was later known for indelicately denouncing local Jews for voting against separatism. Michaud's Mercier efforts split the PQ and led then-premier Lucien Bouchard to quit politics. The PQ then popped in Claude Toussaint to run in the last by-election. Toussaint lost to the Libs after it was revealed that he had once been accused of beating his wife.

• In 2001, according to the Quebec director-general of elections, the Communist Party attracted 10 contributors whose donations totalled 81/2 grand. The Equality Party had 29 folks donating a total of 14 grand. The Bloc Pot's five givers ponied up a total $2,344. Compare those measly totals to the big two: PQ bagmen raised $2.6-mil from 4,426 donors and the Liberals netted $4.1-mil from 5,517 givers.