Fartiste: Joseph Pujol was a 19th-century Frenchman with a unique talent: he could use his anus like Celine Dion uses her windpipe. Known professionally as Le Pétomane, Pujol was a veritable gastric virtuoso, expelling intestinal gas both rhythmically and melodically. His repertoire, performed at the famous Moulin Rouge, included impressions of people and cannons, entire musical numbers and a shocking routine that involved smoking a cigarette with his ass via a rubber tube. Learn more about this gassy wonder at www.troubalert.com/ver_0/petomane/.

On the road: Watching highway traffic cameras on TV gives one an extraordinary sense of serenity. All these people going somewhere, and I'm warm at home, curled up with a bottle of triple-X. You can extend that experience to highways all across the province with the Quebec Transport Ministry traffic camera Web site - featuring 50-odd cameras in Montreal alone. Inspire a country song - or paranoia - at www.mtq.gouv.qc.ca/cameras/. :

» Michael Citrome