by MARK SLUTSKY

As latter-day romantic comedies go, you could do worse than Deliver Us From Eva, but then again, you could surely do a whole lot better. Apart from a couple of agreeable flourishes, there’s nothing that really distinguishes it from the majority of rom-coms floating around out there. It’s not too hard to watch, but the romantic stuff is hardly convincing and charming, and the funny is bland and serviceable, with enough jokes to remind you that you’re watching a comedy, even if you don’t laugh at them (which is likely).

Eva starts promisingly enough with a little song ’n’ dance number lip-synched by some of the cast. It’s not particularly great, but at least it’s something you don’t see everyday. We then meet Dartanyan Edmonds, Duane Martin, and Mel Jackson, three lifelong friends who are married or engaged to three comely sisters, played by Essence Atkins, Robinne Lee and Meagan Good.

It turns out the Dandridges have another, elder, sister, the titular Eva (Gabrielle Union, of Bring It On). Union raised the girls when they were orphaned at a young age, and now seems to do no more than make things difficult for their romantic partners. Those partners figure they can get rid of their shrewish nemesis if they can hook her up with someone who’ll romance and then dump her (why they want her dumped is somewhat of a mystery, but it’s sort of important to the plot later on, even if it

doesn’t make any sense). They pick LL Cool J for the deed, a caddish friend and ladies’ man to whom they hand over some cash to act out their fiendish plot. Mr. J proceeds to woo Ms. Union, and - read no further if you know nothing about how rom-coms work - eventually falls in love with her. Uh-oh!

Does this movie sound at all appealing to you? I can see it being useful in, perhaps, some sort of low-expectations first-date scenario, but otherwise, stay away. While Deliver Us From Eva isn’t totally, wretchedly awful, it delivers an almost worse sin: mediocrity. :

Deliver Us From Eva opens Friday, March 7

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