by SARAH MUSGRAVE

All-you-can-eat restaurants tap into a deep primal human urge that goes beyond the universal desire for boundless bounty. The motivation is more about walking through the doors thinking, “I’ll show them and their $12.95, ha! I’m gonna eat them out of house and home! Suckers!” At the following places you can indulge in the sheer id of it all, to the point of sheer idiocy.

Milsa

The menu at Milsa hurls a challenge at customers right off the top: it claims they’ll feed you “until you beg us to stop.” And it’s true: the grill keeps pumping out the charcoal-cooked meats and the waiters circle relentlessly with hot metal skewers at this Brazillian churrascaria. First, there’s salad of mixed greens, tomatoes, cabbage, carrot and cauliflower in a creamy but pungent dressing. Next come bowls of seasoned rice, sautéed mushrooms and a baked sweet potato. And then the onslaught of meat begins, all nicely browned on the outside and cut at the table. It includes sirloin, filet mignon, flavour-packed sausages, roast beef, pork and lamb. Rounding out the options are turkey wrapped in bacon and honey-sweet chicken. Even dessert is grilled here - delicious pineapple, coated in sugar and cinnamon that melts into the fruit as it’s roasted. Stuff yourself while live dancers strut their stuff to Brazillian rhythms.

Address: 1445 Bishop (@ de Maisonneuve), Phone: 985-0777, Hours: 5:30pm-midnight daily, Price: $24.95 without tax, drinks or tip

Buffet Casa Corfu

It may have the atmosphere of a Hydro-Québec office party, but this Rosemont restaurant lets you load up your plate endlessly from about 10 service areas overflowing with international fare. The sizeable salad bar provides all the standards, plus shrimp, calamari, marinated mushrooms and Greek salad fixings. In the grill area, you’ll find pizza, tomatoes au gratin, chicken parmesan and a tasty coquilles St-Jacques. China is represented by syrupy spareribs, chow mien and chop suey, Italy offers pasta staples and eggplant parmigiana, and you can say bonjour to France over vats of meat with sauce. There is a taste of home cooking in some of the entries; the Greek-style meatballs, Southern fried chicken, roasted potatoes and stews all fare well. In addition, dour men in chef’s hats will carve up smoked meat brisket, roast beef, lamb or chicken for you. The dessert section is a cornucopia of cavity-inducing colours.

Address: 3177 Masson, Phone: 727-5250, Hours: Mon-Fri 11am-3pm; Sat & Sun 10am-3pm; Dinner nightly 4:30-10pm, Price: $6-$11/person without tax, drinks or tip

Jardin Tiki

Jardin Tiki is more about ambiance than food, but it has both in spades. An homage to the Polynesian craze of the ’50s and ’60s, the setting includes a live turtle pond, creaky rattan seats, marine-themed lamps and a ukelele soundscape. You’ll be further swept away by the exotic cocktails - Mai Tais, Scorpions, Bolos and Aku Akus - that come in well-worn god’s head goblets. The buffet is a plentiful display of metal trays, hot and cold, although the Chinese-inflected contents are pretty much on a par with suburban office party food. After the soup and salad section have been decimated, move on to spring rolls, baby back ribs, roast beef you carve yourself, broccoli and beef sautée, pineapple chicken, noodles, onion rings, fries, Asian dumplings, every permutation of pork imaginable, and spicy chicken with red peppers. The final coup de grâce here, along with jiggling jello and super-fake cakes, is a self-serve soft ice cream dispenser. :

Address: 5300 Sherbrooke E., Phone: 254-4173 Hours: Mon-Fri 11:30am-2:30pm; dinner nightly 4:30-10pm; 1am weekends, Price: $10-$14.95/person without tax, drinks or tip