M I just read some shitty comments about racist musicians. Well, I know that in every walk of rock music, from CHICKENPICKING to full range black metal, there are racist people. But the problem is that if it weren’t for black people—niggers, as they like to call themselves—there wouldn’t be any rock, any metal, or any punk music—because distorted guitar started with Jimi Hendrix! Oh yeah, British musicians had distortion, too, but they tried to eliminate it. The first musician to voluntarily have distortion in his sound was Jimi Hendrix. He’s a black guy. So racism in rock ’n’ roll simply doesn’t have any place. [BLEEP!]

M Does anyone know how skinheads wear those BLEACHED WHITE PANTS, the kind that went out of style in the ’70s? Skinheads are against homosexuals yet they wear those pants. What kind of statement are they making? [BLEEP!]

M I don’t know why the Rant Line™ keeps talking about Redskins and Nazi skins. There only seems to be, like, a hundred of these morons, tops, in the whole city. They’re just misguided kids who got bored with their ska and NOFX and now, to be more shocking, go to extremes. But if you stop giving them free publicity, they’ll just go away. And by the way, Skrewdriver once opened for Wayne County and the Police. [BLEEP!]

M You guys wanted some info on the local music scene? I think all this hype around electro is all bullshit. It’s just rehashed ’80s garbage—fashionable COKED-OUT CUNT MUSIC. People really need to open their ears to music that progresses things instead of that stupid shit. Drum & bass, break, house, techno. Any of it’s better than the garbage DJs play these days. [BLEEP!]

F For the guy who called in last November asking about Tracy Howe from Rational Youth. I was in Edmonton over the holidays and I ended up at this weird party, and guess who I saw? Tracy is in Edmonton and is alive and well. And as far as I know, he’s not a banker. [BLEEP!]

F To all the people out there who love funk, hip hop, break dance. There is this crazy night happening at Saphir every Tuesday so come check it out. You got a great crew called the JuJu Crew, you got some really good DJs, like DJ Statik, Professor Groove, and our great MC, MC Rugged. Every Tuesday, only $4 at the door! Peace. [BLEEP!]

M I know a lot of people have been complaining lately about Montreal’s sagging music scene. Well, I’ve got a solution. Maybe it wouldn’t suck as bad if the drummers in the city would stop having their 14-year-old girlfriends and their aunts and uncles calling into the Rant Line™ and giving them a pump. And that’s basically it. [BLEEP!]

M In response to that rant about the Moshcore flyer with the NAKED CHICK on it that some female at Steve’s Music Store seemed to have found disgusting. Well, we’d just like to state for the record that actually the girl was not completely naked. She was wearing a G-string and bra. I’d just like to clear that up for everybody. [BLEEP!]

M To the cute chick who was ranting about the flyer with the naked girl and the SG. I take it that as a female musician you found the flyer insulting. Well, I’d like to see you naked with your instruments, if that’s possible. I mean, if you’re a girl and you play guitar, you better play naked because girls suck when they play guitar. At least if they’re naked, they’re entertaining. I think that’s what the poster was trying to say. [BLEEP!]

M For the girl who called about how the naked girl with the SG had nothing to do with heavy metal. TONY IOMMI played an SG for quite a long time and I don’t think there’s anything more heavy metal than Tony Iommi! Anyway, thanks. [BLEEP!]

M As far as the local radio scene goes, there might be hope. Yes, they’re testing a new radio station at 105.1 FM and it might be an ALL JAZZ station. Yes, jazz, 24-7! I don’t know, for a city that claims to have one of the world’s best jazz festivals, it’s about friggin’ time. So check it out, 105.1. [BLEEP!]

M Hi. I have a question for everyone. Does anyone know where I can find NISSIN BRAND CUP NOODLES in the Montreal area? They seem to have disappeared from store shelves in the entire province of Quebec. I like the Nissin brand because it’s the only one that still has the freeze-dried shrimp instead of the shrimp-flavoured powder. Gattuso used to do one with real shrimp but all the other brands are just nasty. Also, does anyone know any Montreal area supermarkets where I can still find any Old El Paso brand frozen burritos? They disappeared at about the same time Loblaws started opening stores in the province and took over all the Provigos. The no name brand they sell at Loblaws has too many beans and not enough beef for my taste. And I hope Nestlé doesn’t stop selling the orange Aeros again, like they did in 1995. Okay, cheers, peace, bye. [BLEEP!]

Next week: Open forum