by SCOTT C

I’m well aware that even in Toronto, the city where I was conceived, the strange circumstances surrounding my birth have long been forgotten. While the world has been trying to get to the bottom of this clone-baby publicity stunt, I started to question my own DNA. I was born January 1, New Year’s Day, 1972, on the stroke of midnight. I’ve always pictured a bolt of lightning, a clap of thunder, and then a baby crying—a kind of monumental, ritualistic birth-rite, but that’s just me. According to East General Hospital, the Toronto Star and my “parents,” I was the first baby born in Toronto in ’72. I mean, how do they gauge these things, anyway? Who was the kid born a little too late to be number one? More importantly, was I really born on the stroke of midnight, or at say, 10 minutes after? Good questions, all of them, but my main concern is that they’ve had me believing all my life that my mother and I shared the exact same birthday to boot. Only now can I see through their paper-thin lies. They lead me to believe that, through some series of coincidences, I just happened to be born. Only I now know, without a shadow of a doubt, that I am the original baby clone. How can I know this, you may well ask? Simple. I have seen my original. I came face to face with my doppelganger, and although I was happily intoxicated at the time, I was sharp enough to notice him standing directly across from me in the bathroom of a nightclub that I can’t seem to remember right now. Amazingly, he was dressed just like me, even mimicking my voice and movements, as if to taunt my advanced scientific beginnings. Needless to say, I stormed out of the men’s room, horrified at my realization, and waiting for him to come out and explain our secret origins. Only he never came. It was then and there that I vowed to get only moderately inebriated in the year 2003.

While I sit up here and enjoy DJ Spinna’s new offering from BBE, Here to There, I’m hoping that the date he has scheduled for early February in Montreal is as solid as this LP. Spinna teams up with peeps like ApaniB, Vinija Mojica, Ticklah and Soulive for a sound fresh for 2003, but wouldn’t it be nice if my man could make it to town?

Bigga Tings 2003 jumps off at Tiffany’s uptown on Saturday, Jan. 18, with a serious bashment do. Guests include Cristal Sound, Rebel Tone, Earthquake Sound Crew, Ms. B and of course Little Thunder. Free lighters and whistles, y’know… Tickets at Triple AAA (344-5353) and Mango Bay (875-7082).

Quickly, look out for a new, improved Dub Lounge starting Sunday, Jan. 19, at Mile End Bar. Mossman, Bunny and Sylla plan to hold it down every Sunday with all manner of reggae, and the Ark of Infinity band sit in this first week. :

Can I have your attention, please… incubator@hiphopsite.com

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