Dear Sasha,

My boyfriend and I would like to expand our sexual horizons and bring a third person (female) into our bed. We’ve been together for five years and know it’s something we want. We’ve looked at the option of getting an escort, but besides the pricey part of the date, there are a lot of limitations to what will transpire. Many places or girls don’t like the idea of a third. And we’re into safe sex and obviously afraid of getting STDs

We would prefer to find someone to join us on an ongoing basis. We want someone who will not get emotionally involved as we don’t want to get too close. We’ve paid for memberships on various Web sites to try and find someone, but it’s still hard. » Lisa

Dear Lisa,

That’s because you require a person with the emotional distance that a professional offers without the price tag. Have you heard the rumour that the Raeliens cloned a woman? Galvanizing news, I’m sure, for couples looking for indifferent yet enthusiastic threesome mates at their beck and call.

It’s been a while since we’ve had an HIV/AIDS lecture, so buckle your seatbelts. Of course this is a concern, but if you’re going to consider people with HIV/AIDS pariahs, and I think that you’re implying this in direct reference to prostitutes, you may want to know that adventurous gals like yourself are considered a fast-rising pariah group at the moment. This is another reason you may be having a hard time finding someone through an agency. Prostitutes also worry about contracting fatal viruses. Let me elaborate: it seems a lot of women are taking it in the ass these days. According to Poz magazine: “In the U.S, surveys show that about 20 to 30 per cent of het gals have let their men in the back door… This means that, numerically, more American women are having unprotected receptive anal intercourse than gay men (though rates of infection are, of course, much lower). Given that HIV is believed to be 10 times more transmissible though unsafe anal sex than vaginal sex, a significant number of newly infected women can blame it on butt-banging.” This scenario does assume that you have unprotected anal sex with your boyfriend, and that maybe he’s up to some business you don’t know about, but if you’re going to make wholesale assumptions about prostitutes, you should extend them the same courtesy.

As a civilian, if I was looking for a casual, ongoing threesome, I would skip over your ad if it read anything like your letter. “Lisa and her boyfriend don’t seem ready to take any responsibility for my emotional needs should they arise,” I would think. “That’s pretty immature. And what if I want to call them for a fuck? There seem to be a lot of preemptive manoeuvrings, and I don’t think I’m going to have much agency in this relationship. They also don’t seem at all prepared for the possibility that one of them will fall in love with me. Is Lisa, despite the fact that she doesn’t want me to get emotionally involved in her life, going to expect me to listen to her screaming and crying on the phone at three in the morning because her boyfriend wants to leave her for me?” Rules are paramount in open relationships, but you must also be prepared for the probability that they will be broken. The fact that you’re not prepared to deal with any messiness at all is a red flag.

Dear Sasha,

I’ve been pounding this chick for six years now. The problem is she was a stripper. She did this before my time so I didn’t know or see her. But this chick is now 42 and she’s back in business. Can you tell me when do you think it is time to hang up the G-string? » Krazy Legs

Dear Krazy,

Anyone a person refers to as someone they’ve been pounding for six years can wear their G-string till their tits are hanging over it, as far as I’m concerned. :

Got any questions for Sasha? Write her at
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e-mail: pouledeluxe@yahoo.com