It’s not the first time Baby Jesus has been stolen from a front-lawn nativity scene. This time, however, there was a ransom note, something Hamilton, New Jersey, police find “kind of unsettling.”

The Baby Jesus in question was part of Tom and Candy Konczos’ Christmas decorations. Candy insists the Sears-bought Baby Jesus was attached in that manger “pretty good.” Then, one morning, it was gone. Not ascended - ascensions don’t leave ransom notes asking for $800 in unmarked bills. The Konczos’ called the cops.

Hamilton police lieutenant Mike Kane is hoping the “kidnappers” will try to make contact, but so far there are no suspects. The only clue to go on is the ransom note, which was signed “Me, him and the other kid who was really scared and didn’t want to take your Baby Jesus, and the whole time all he did was say stuff like you’re going to hell and this isn’t right, stop.” :

» Scott Saxon