Respect: So you want the neighbourhood kids to carry your mom’s groceries home? Clearly you need some mobster training. Networthy operative Pluty has the solution via former gangster Henry Hill—of Goodfellas, not Arlen, Texas. Learn how to pistol-whip, hide a corpse and enjoy New York City after you flip. Remarkably, Henry maintains this site in supposed hiding. The threats he receives, wherein “rat bastard” is a particularly kind term, are worth the price of admission alone. Turn states at www.goodfellahenry.com.

Cold Star Wars: Bootleg Star Wars action figures from Eastern Bloc countries may not seem like an obvious topic for study, but hey—besides porno, what else is there to do on the Internet? The Uzay figures, featuring an Imperial gunner operating an enormous pocket calculator and R2-D2 with a lit cigarette sticking up out of his head really put forth the charm of a republic that no longer exists. Worker and parasite it up at www.toysrgus.com/images-bootleg.html. :

» Michael Citrome