by KRISTIAN GRAVENOR

It started when a second person spontaneously wrote me in love-stunned praise of CFCF News reader Debra Arbec. Personally, I like Debra Arbec plenty, but never really thought of her in “that way.”

So to put an end to the confusion of who’s hot and who’s not in this town, I downloaded as many pictures of noted Montrealers as I could and posted them on the Web site www.hotornot.com, where viewers rate photos of others on a 1-to-10 scale of attractiveness.

Considering that only a picture of Lucien Bouchard was rejected for breaking the no-celebrity rule, it can be assumed that the vast majority of viewers hadn’t a clue that they were rating Montreal’s finest.

Site co-founder James Hong tells me that two-thirds of raters are men and the site has received an amazing 6.2-billion clicks in its two years. It’s huge.

I tried to post the best available picture of whomever I could find. Except for known separatists. Louise Beaudoin was rated a 5.9 and filmmaker Pierre Falardeau got a 7.4 on unflattering photos.

There are surprisingly few photos available of local celebs on the Net. Except for St-Urbain pop singer David Usher. This guy must be keeping photo development labs working overtime, man. He scored a 9.4.

Global TV’s Andrew Peplowski was rated a 7.3, co-host Tracey McKee 9.5, Stuart Greer 6.1, sultry Rob Lurie scored a 9.6, making him the king of the Montreal babes. Jamie Orchard got 9.4, Jonathan Freed 8, Eramelinda Boquer 7.4. CFCF News’s Bill Haugland got 7.4, Mutsumi Takahashi 7.3, reporter Todd van der Heyden, on a terrible snap, still scored a babe-a-licious 9.2. Dennis Trudeau, host of CBC’s Newsbotch, or whatever they’re calling it now, got 6.8. MusiquePlus host Anne-Marie Withenshaw was rated a 9.8 while Anne-Marie Losique of some other French show got 8.7, VJ-turned-makeup model Geneviève Borne scored a 9.6.

A jokey-looking Melissa Auf der Maur rated 8.7, Mayor Tremblay 6.8, pro protester Jaggi Singh 7.5, Robert “Bicycle Bob” Silverman 6.8, city councillor Marvin Rotrand, looking less beautiful than usual, still managed a solid 7.6, while colleague Helen Fotopulos got an 8.8. South Shore porn goddess Abbraxa scored a 9.2 wearing high heels at a marina. Sex columnist Sasha earned a 9.6 lying on the floor, midriff exposed. Counterpart Josey Vogels was deemed a 9.8 until I recropped her picture to remove the advantage of a protruding nipple. She dropped to 9.4. Novelist Nelly Arcand earned a 9.5.

Both sexes habitually rate photos of women. Only women—in general—bother to rate men, according to Hong. And sometimes females rate men inexplicably, for example, suave-looking über-capitalist Pierre-Karl Péladeau rated a 6.1, while an unintentionally comical picture of anglo-activist Howard Galganov in a cowboy hat earned a 7.4. This proves that women should have less say in male attractiveness and that maybe cowboy hats are underrated.

Mario Dumont is the hottest political leader, in this sense as well, scoring 9.2 to Jean Charest’s 8.3 and Bernard Landry’s 7.

Journalists Noah Richler rate 8.6, Leah McLaren 9.5, Rebecca Eckler 8.6, Jan Wong 6.2. Politician Sheila Copps is a 7.4, singer Mitsou 9.9, while Brossard film star Christy Chung—once voted sexiest Asian celebrity—is a 9.8. CJAD’s Kevin ’n’ Trudie earned 5.7 and 4.8 respectively; colleague Tommy Schnurmacher gets 4.8 and Marianna Simeone 9.1. Cirque du Soleil chief Guy Laliberté rates 7.9, psychic Jojo Savard, 7.3, Jacques Villeneuve 7.6.

I submitted a shot of myself looking even more insipid than usual. I was rated 6.4. Pretty depressing considering that old pix of puck-scarred goaltending goof Gump Worsley rated 8.4. I sneakily replaced my photo with one of those fluke lucky shots taken before my facial wart infestation and 200 extra pounds. It earned me 9.3.

But I still don’t know if Debra Arbec is hot or not. I couldn’t find a picture of her. I guess some things are meant to be mysteries. :

Comments? kgravy@openface.ca