by RAF KATIGBAK

As we approach Halloween, the question on many people’s minds is likely, what the fuck am I gonna be for Halloween? Personally, I like to go that extra mile and put a little effort in my costume. This might stem from the fact that as a reformed raver, I relish any opportunity I get to dress up in ill-fitting clothes and look silly. More likely, though, is that this desire to have a good costume is thanks to my dad. As a child in elementary school, I would dread the arrival of Halloween, not because there were scary ghosts and goblins and witches and shit, or because I was afraid of the dark (’cause I wasn’t, okay!), but because I always ended up looking like a big dork.

My mother was not only a talented seamstress but handy with tools (as a baby, she once dressed me up like a Smurf complete with a homemade white cap and booties, and a working stroller made of twigs and old logs). Sadly though, as I got older, she became too busy with the cool costumes of my five older siblings and the duty of dressing the “little ones” for Halloween fell squarely on my dad. Now you have to understand, my dad not only waited till the last minute to make me a costume, but was also acutely colour-blind, with the worst creative sense I’ve ever seen. One Halloween, just before he drove me to school, he threw a roll of toilet paper in my room and said, “Here ya go, son, you’re a mummy!” Sadly, it was the end of the roll so I had to go to school in my brother’s oversized, white Adidas tracksuit with my head poorly wrapped in buttwipe. Needless to say, it was a little humiliating (although I was not as humiliated as the guy dressed as Crazy Garbage Bag Man). From that moment on I vowed to plan my costume well in advance and put a little thought into it.

This year, since the bootleg mash-up scene has grown at an exponential rate on the Internet, spawning similar movements in the video world with people like the Cartel Communique doing mash-ups of popular music videos, I thought, why not take mash-ups into the costume world? Right now I’m deciding between Freddy Mercury Krueger (hat, sweater, claws, buckteeth and big gay ’stache), PJ Harvey Keitel (long, sultry brown hair and a hardened furrowed brow) and Lionel Richie Hawtin (see picture). Anyone else with a good mash-up costume idea should e-mail me at the address below. The best costume wins some goodies. :

Next week, Halloween round-up! Diskoakimbo@sympatico.ca

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